One reason FlyLady doesn't work for someone like me, is because my days do not conform to cookie cutter perfection and predictability. Case in point: Yesterday we had to put our beloved 16 year old dog down, and after prying my precious, heartbroken nine year old daughter off of him, the day just got harder. My son's way of coping was to try and keep some normalcy, and to check on his sister often. He delved into his chores, not because I've embedded my OCD into his impressionable mind, but because he wanted to help. Aside from that, I didn't do much of anything, and I don't feel bad. I'm not staring at a blank checklist, and I'm not behind. I put cleaning in its place and took care of my kids.
But today is a new day, and since waking with a headache that feels like Mt. Vesuvius erupted inside it, I have done the following, as I strode from the bedroom to the computer:
*Made the bed the instant my feet hit the ground. Try it. It's such an eye-pleasing way to start the day, and it takes three minutes.
*As I mentioned, our dryer broke, and I had to cancel the repairman yesterday because of our dog, so this morning I had to find new, innovative, and frankly, Amish ways in which to manage laundry with no dryer, and an intense aversion to a) clothes and sheets hanging everywhere, and b) crunchy towels. Yeah, you can bet your ass they're all going into the dryer when the guy gets here later.
*Did all the dishes that accumulated while I tended to my kids yesterday, which, as Jacob and I have said before, means scouring the sink and wiping down all surfaces. (Is anyone starting to feel how putting in that extra three minutes keeps the chaos under control? If so, please share your example(s) in comments.)
*Cleared off the counter, which, as you saw in my post the other day, my family thinks is a junk drawer. Grrr...
*Took meds, ate, started tea. I realize this isn't cleaning, but it speaks to the importance of routine.
*Got a load of delicates in, since they, like all my laundry, must hang dry anyway.
You know, it is worth saying that I had no idea what to expect when I launched this blog. But I know this, you guys have so exceeded any notions I had about your capabilities. You're tackling these challenges with gusto, often doing even more than I've asked, you're sharing tips with each other, supporting each other, you're commenting so that our Moxieteam gathers the steam it needs in order to give you all a new, realistic, understanding that a few extra minutes here and there can prevent you from getting to that point wherein you call for a wrecking ball. I've said it before, but I'm proud of my Moxlings. :)
*I feel there is a laundry lull today, and since you lucky bitches have dryers, I want you to get all your laundry caught up. For reals. If you can't intuit or hear when your cycles change, set a timer, and keep it going. Later tonight, or even in the morning, baskets or a couch full of clean laundry will feel so much better than heading into your weekend 75 loads behind. No excuses ladies, you owe it to your poor dryerless commander. Anyone who gets this done and gets it all folded before bedtime, text me a picture (503) 910-9546, and I will enter you twice as well as post your achievement in my next post and you'll be famous!
*Dishes dishes dishes. Yep, I know you just did them last night, and maybe this morning. I will keep pushing it until it becomes second nature to keep the pile as low as you can, wiping down surfaces, making the most of those 3-5 minutes without even thinking about it. You all spend ten million more minutes stressing your house than it would ever take to tame that beast. That's why I'm here. I want pictures of sparkling sinks. Do them all now, soaking whatever pans you need to, and then once again later, when the pans are more amenable to being scrubbed.
*This one's exciting and easy. I want you all to take two garbage bags and carry them throughout the house, filling one with garbage, and I want to stress a liberal use of the word garbage. In the other bag, put things that may be of use to someone else, for a swap, your best friend, Goodwill (though I prefer Simonka House women and children's shelter), etc. This means, toys, clothes, books (SAM!), knickknack paddywhack bullshit you know you are not using. Sentimental yet useless things, things your mother-in-law gave you that you hate but worry she'll ask about it when she visits. Everything. Two bags. Full. I want to see them. Tell us the thing you are most proud to have tossed. Go into every room, and DO NOT ask your kids' permission for chrissake. Plug them into the tv, DSs, whatever. Two bags. I will pick up any bags you wish to donate, lest they clutter your home and defeat my entire purpose, which is to make you feel at ease there.
*Finally, floors. We're neglecting them. They're crying out. You've been averting your gaze. It's the moment of reckoning. I want all non-carpeted floors swept and either mopped or spot-checked. This is mandatory. I also want you to vacuum carpeted areas. If you have stairs, sweep the shit down, and clean the bottom afterward.
That's it for everyone but Jacob, whose sink is whistling Dixie, whose surfaces project your reflection back at you, whose entire house would frankly, never give my house the time of day, except that Jacob wouldn't allow his house to have bad manners. Okay J, here are five ideas, pick three:
*Pull your sofas and chairs out and sweep/mop behind them, which is sure to lead to a thrilling, sweaty sweep-a-thon.
*Clean the streaks off the inside of your front door.
*Organize one cupboard that has been bothering you, whether it's home to appliances, crystal, whatever.
*Um, take now-irrelevant pictures off the refrigerator? (Is that okay to say? I meant no harm I promise.)
*If you can do this one, I will enter your name five times. Fill a garbage bag by any means other than dumping your actual garbage into it.
Can I just share something that has been ruining my life for like eight months? So, my kids don't eat, everyone knows. They subsist on one late afternoon meal, like snakes. So late last year when they suddenly began asking for waffles, naturally Todd bought 40 Costco boxes, and this silo of syrup. Two problems: One, they stopped eating waffles within two days. Two, in those two days, they lost the lid, so this is our meth-house solution, which I have to see every time I open the refrigerator. The one or two times I have rebelled against allergies and had waffles, I've had to wriggle this disgusting baggie that should not be sticky but is, off. I really want to throw the syrup away but Todd will know, and he does not take kindly to waste. Can someone tell me why the baggie gets sticky if no one's touching it? Also, would anyone mind if I just went to Costco and stole the cap off a new silo? Sigh.
Okay guys, it's go time. I want pictures, I want comments, I want success, I want you smiling. And for those who have asked, no, you don't get weekends off. God may have taken a day of rest, but I don't think heaven gets very dirty.