Monday, June 15, 2009

Monday, Midnight, Apparently...

I was up hella early because one of my favourite people texted to say she was calling in a half hour and in my stupor I morphed into a one-man car wash and cleaned my house within an inch of its life. For a phone call. Yeah, I figured it out.

So this morning, I have:

-Made all beds.

-Put away all the laundry that was hanging like some frat house shit hole nightmare when Emily came to see my house for the first time yesterday. For shame.

-Couldn't wait for Quinn to wake up and unload the dishwasher so I got the rack out and did them all by hand.

-Wiped down the entire kitchen.

-Did all the kids' chores because I wanted this place to shine for my phone call.

-Swept/Swiffered the kitchen.

-Wiped down toaster, microwave, stove top, dishwasher.

-Cleaned all windows and mirrors, including the outside side.

-De-cluttered the counter, putting Quinn's groups of Lego men into separate bowls, whereas they had been in visually assaulting piles. Ugh. What must I do to convince these people that my counter is the Holy Land?

-Washed Reilly's old quilt, which is really mine, and have it spread out like an octopus over three laundry baskets by the bay window to dry. It will be stored with the coordinating bed set I recently ditched.

-Dusted computer areas/dining areas.

-Went through Costco coupons, filled out money order for City of Salem, who cited my car for being ten minutes over, because my stylist had to re-colour a part of my hair. But I am NOT sitting in court for three hours to explain that. Bastards.

-Refilled napkins.

-Wiped down toilets.

-Sprayed down tub so I can scrub it when I finally make it in there. (I detest showering and delay it as long as I can.)

-Started new laundry. I swear y'all's laundry overload is contagious. Every time I turn around clothes are creeping over the sides of the sorter like some deadly vine from a horror movie. Maybe it's because I haven't been home for longer than 12 minutes in three weeks...

-Wiped both sinks in master vanity, and all the hairs that are falling out because no matter what I eat it's wrong.

-Cleaned out the bottle of diet Dr. Pepper--with my mouth.

-Just took that shower and scrubbed the shower/tub.


-Need I say it?

-Floors, this means hard wood, linoleum, and carpets, which means picking things up.

-Dust ten surfaces.

-Check master bedroom. Clothes, sheets, clutter. Dust. Make the bed.

-Windows and mirrors, all the better to see that beautiful sunshine you're all probably frolicking in and ignoring me. :)

-De-clutter one surface that's pissing you off/making you cry.

-That's all she wrote today. It's a good start for the week. Make me proud!


  1. I know I've got nothing on you :-p but here's my shit...

    Friday, I tended the gaping hole that is my heart. This is apparently the "in" thing for the end of my period. Whatever the hell it is, I'm thinking Wellbutrin, needs to take a leap.
    I sat on the couch and watched Oprah, then I put my kids in front of the television and slinked to my room for a nap. I desperately wanted Straigh From New York but had to keep my pocketbook in check... Hell, this is going to be a long one! I'm moving it over to my blog...

  2. 2 loads of dishes
    1 load of laundry
    vacuumed almost the entire house
    swept, swiffered and mopped the kitchen
    wiped down all kitchen cabinets
    cleaned kitchen sink
    wiped down the entire kitchen table and all chairs
    wiped down toddler table
    wiped down train table
    dusted most of the living room
    scraped crayon off of the front of the tv with my fingernails
    cleaned 2/3 of kitchen windows

    i used an entire container of orange costco wipes today

  3. Well, let's see. I had to clean up from our house concert last night. So much fun, but many dishes still left from the potluck.

    I went swimming at the lake (Lake Lanier in GA) with my daughter, then started researching dishwashers since the repair man told me I'd be better off buying a new one. Argh!

    I didn't declutter a surface, but I did clean up our DVD/CD cabinet and organized it. It so much better. It had been pissing me off for a while. :-)

    That's it. Not a lot, but stuff did get done.

  4. I didn't see this till just now but it wouldn't have mattered anyway because my back was out. A trip to the chiropractor and it's much better. God, I love that massage thing they use. I have to try not to moan when I'm getting it done. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Housework, you say? Um, some dishes, some laundry, some unpacking (yes, there is more, much more), some vacuuming, and other miscellaneous things.

  5. Jennifer-You made me laugh *and* cry. Heading to your blog next. I love you saying, "here's my shit." We need our raincheck STAT! Let me know when.

    Emily-Do we not share OCD? I thought we did. "vacuumed almost the entire house, dusted most of living room, cleaned 2/3 of the kitchen windows?" What is with this fear of commitment? Did some lame-ass biotch come over and interrupt you, and watch in morbid fascination as you scraped off the crayon with your fingernails, wanting so much to smash the tv with the train table? 'Cause if that's what happened you're forgiven. Anyone who uses an entire container of the orange wipes (the scrubby ones) gets to hear a joke. What's better than winning the gold medal...

    Wendy-You went to a lake? While Emily scraped crayon off the tv with her fingernails? You get detention. Cleaning the cabinet saved you by the skin of your teeth. :)

    Megan-Lakes? Chiropractors? Does anyone need a massage while I'm burning my candle at both ends? Dang. Just kidding.

    Good job ladies. Maybe Jacob will return if a piece of dust becomes evident in the sunlight. We shan't hold our breaths.

  6. Oh, honey, no matter how hard I try there is always going to be dust lurking all around this place...and I have made my peace with it.

    My place looks pretty much exactly the same as it always does, not spotless but perfectly well within the range of livable, and I have been doing my same ole daily tasks to keep it that way. Nothing new or terribly exiting on this end. If the idea excites you, it IS almost time for my monthly scrub down and polish of the hardwood, which I usually just sweep and spot clean as needed on a day to day basis. But that is about as exciting as it gets around here.

    I am still on the relentless hunt for the mystical and elusive "Magic Ceramic" or something like it that will finally help me win this war of discoloration on my stove top and white ceramic bakeware. I am beginning to think that it is nothing more than an urban cleaning myth. Should I simply give up hope?

  7. i work systematically through the house. i start in either the master bedroom/bathroom and/or the pantry and complete each room before moving onto the next because i also have adhd and if i move into another room them i'll forget what i was doing beforehand and end up never completing anything. i clean each room completely literally starting from the top and slowly moving downwards.

    yes, some (late) biotch interrupted me. i was in my groove when she arrived and for some reason expected me to carry on a conversation with her.

  8. Well! It is now Tuesday morning for me as I sit reading this, so let me recap my day yesterday.

    -Took the puppy to the vet for her second lot of injections. She threw up in the car I got to clean that up (like I didn't have enough to clean)
    -Visted my lawyer...omg I hate it there. He is such a nice guy and yet that smile suddenly becomes Satan's own when he tells me he wants money. I hate him, he's scraped off my xmas card list and I'm devoting a shrine of hate in his honor :) And yet he dares put pics up in his office of him and his children..LIES I TELL YOU!
    -Did some grocery shopping. Which seems to take up half my day?! Why is this?!
    -Cleaned up the kitchen
    -Had just enough time after getting Griffin home from school to whack a Gammon in the oven along with some potatoes and onions to cook while I went to pick Maurice up. We def need 2 cars now, his car's brakes went and life sucks.
    -Sat down and watched Bolt over dinner with the family. This is rare, we very ridgedly eat at the table every night as a family and chat to the kids, so the odd night off TV dinners is rare but nice :)

    Whew that was me, and today I have errands to run, bills, Maurice some new ''comfies'' and getting Tahira to her exam today on time. Screw it I'll be at the coffee shop later

  9. Jacob-I just wanted to coax you out of hiding because I miss you. I know you're Mr. Maintenance but I was curious as to your next big project. As for that stove top shit, I just don't cook, so... See mama? Maintenance = mellow!

    Emily-Um, that biotch was asked to come, and told you she was running late, so I'm deaf to your excuses. Good job on the cleaning though, I could feel the pores of your house glisten.

    Mesina-Okay you lost me at puppy puking in the car. I feel like I can smell it. I LOVE "scraping" the lawyer off your christmas list. What is grocery shopping? Sounds like you were as busy as ever and topped it all off with a tv dinner night. Excellent. Please assure me you got all the puppy puke/smell out?