Friday, August 21, 2009

Fruits of Our Non-Labour Friday

Karinda you think you are so clever holding out during our non-cleaning vigil, but the joke's on you because, well, I guess the joke is on us, as I'm going to get these mamas on their hands and knees and I'm going to come scrub your bathrooms in hopes that your bamino drives out of your vagina, license-in-hand. Okay, I'm being extreme, as s/he will likely only have a permit.

Today I'm going to wake my kids up before dusk, and assuming this most anticipated baby in the world snubs us all again, bring Reilly out to catch snakes and text with Kyla.

But before that, in fact right now, I am:

-Wiping down the kitchen.

-Wiping down the stove top and range hood.


-Checking the corn field for aliens.

-Wondering why in the hell Todd puts fruit literally everywhere but the shiny radical fruit bowl we just got. Seriously.

-Straightening books, which lasts until the first eye opens in the house.


-Cleaning bathroom sinks.

To close the deal, whether I stay up or blink for a few minutes:

-Load the dishwasher. "Oh Quiiiiin, could you wake up for five minutes to do your chores?"

-Bleach the floor.

-Clean under the laundry sorter.

-Put clothes away and never wear them again. I'm so done. Are we all teenagers suddenly? What is with this laundry?

-Clean off the window sill which is frequently mistaken for a desk.

-Remind Todd that the microwave and bathroom counters are also not desks.

-Point out the desks.

-Make chore lists.

-Wipe down the spindles in the entryway that is never used, god forbid anyone think we are not white trash!

-10-minute washcloth walk-about.


-Do your round of morning dishes after a suitable amount, er, silo of coffee.

-Fire up that washing machine, and feed the futile process.

-Pick up/throw away 20 things.

-Today let's focus on bathrooms. Cleanser in the sinks, tubs, toilets, take the mats to the washing machine, procrastinate, sweep/Swiffer the floors and then channel Cinderella and get to scrubbing. Wipe down walls, fixtures, lights, fans, empty waste basket, tidy up towels, you get the idea.

But the good news is you're done. Clean bathrooms are better to pierce you in my dear. That is, they are so nice.

Perhaps 5am is too late to post. Your comments will tell. Good times.


  1. In spite of my love for clean bathrooms (that I don't have to clean)
    I am worried right now I may have to postpone our visit as I'm debating whether or not this is labor...

  2. Karinda-You spiteful bitch. No caramel frappucino for you. <3

  3. *Totally takes the caramel frappucino* Since she's banned from it, I'll take that thanks!

    Karinda, oooooh I am sooo hoping this is it?! But if you have to think about it, maybe not? Did it get worse? is the baby coming?! DO I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE!? (even though you totally don't know me at all, I so would) Just threaten that little one with a Mesina visit and s/he would be out faster than a speeding bullet to prevent that shit happening. Only Chey would dare put up with me. For reals.

    Today I did...mostly chatting on the phone...huh. But I also! Cleaned the kitchen, did MORE LAUNDRY *thud*, swept, threw bleach in places I didn't know existed (aka were filthy) and said goodbye to my youngest two babies for two whole weeks. I'm now a psychotic wreck and pregnant to boot so uhhh...unless you are armed with muffins and caffeine I don't wanna know.

    And Chey, checking the cornfield for aliens totally cracked me up. omg...LOL! I ♥ you - let's elope xx

  4. Today I:

    ***Had a Baby***

    (and am thinking of not naming her until she is 2 years old only cuz I know Chey is having baby name seizures right this very minute. Ba ha ha)

  5. Also...
    If you have ever doubted my OCD tendencies, I must share with you this one piece of my birth story...
    Shortly after giving birth my friend walks in and notices I'm taking quite a while in the bathroom. She asks what I'm doing and if I need help.
    The midwife pauses, and replies, "ummmmmmm... She's cleaning the toilet!"
    ...then they shooed me out and wouldn't let me clean anymore.

  6. Karinda-You are something else. Or someone else. I love that you posted your birth eight minutes after it happened and that you cleaned the toilets. None of us can put "had a baby on our lists," so you pretty much a hair though, I'm still really impressed by Dawna vacuuming out her fireplace.

    Seriously, well done!

  7. KARINDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You must be so relieved that she's finally here and I am so glad to hear all is well.
    Too well.
    In fact posting on the blog and cleaning the toilets? Karinda!!! Naughty Mommy!
    Now get back to bed and snuggle that baby till she's 4 :)