Friday, August 21, 2009
Fruits of Our Non-Labour Friday
Karinda you think you are so clever holding out during our non-cleaning vigil, but the joke's on you because, well, I guess the joke is on us, as I'm going to get these mamas on their hands and knees and I'm going to come scrub your bathrooms in hopes that your bamino drives out of your vagina, license-in-hand. Okay, I'm being extreme, as s/he will likely only have a permit.
Today I'm going to wake my kids up before dusk, and assuming this most anticipated baby in the world snubs us all again, bring Reilly out to catch snakes and text with Kyla.
But before that, in fact right now, I am:
-Wiping down the kitchen.
-Wiping down the stove top and range hood.
-Checking the corn field for aliens.
-Wondering why in the hell Todd puts fruit literally everywhere but the shiny radical fruit bowl we just got. Seriously.
-Straightening books, which lasts until the first eye opens in the house.
-Cleaning bathroom sinks.
To close the deal, whether I stay up or blink for a few minutes:
-Load the dishwasher. "Oh Quiiiiin, could you wake up for five minutes to do your chores?"
-Bleach the floor.
-Clean under the laundry sorter.
-Put clothes away and never wear them again. I'm so done. Are we all teenagers suddenly? What is with this laundry?
-Clean off the window sill which is frequently mistaken for a desk.
-Remind Todd that the microwave and bathroom counters are also not desks.
-Point out the desks.
-Make chore lists.
-Wipe down the spindles in the entryway that is never used, god forbid anyone think we are not white trash!
-10-minute washcloth walk-about.
FOR YOU, SINCE OUR ATTEMPTS TO COAX BABY WERE AN EPIC FAIL:
-Do your round of morning dishes after a suitable amount, er, silo of coffee.
-Fire up that washing machine, and feed the futile process.
-Pick up/throw away 20 things.
-Today let's focus on bathrooms. Cleanser in the sinks, tubs, toilets, take the mats to the washing machine, procrastinate, sweep/Swiffer the floors and then channel Cinderella and get to scrubbing. Wipe down walls, fixtures, lights, fans, empty waste basket, tidy up towels, you get the idea.
But the good news is you're done. Clean bathrooms are better to pierce you in my dear. That is, they are so nice.
Perhaps 5am is too late to post. Your comments will tell. Good times.