Thursday, October 8, 2009

Obscurity Thy Name is Friday

I'm hearing that a lot of you are mostly caught up, which deserves accolades galore from Moxie, so clap clap clap clap clap.

Today I thought maybe a change of pace and a focus on less obvious tasks might be a nice way to transition into the weekend. I'll do it too. In fact, my ideas stem from my own neurotic needs. I'm selfish.


-No break from the basics. Ever. Keep them going. It's an unbeatable war, like Iraq, but we have to keep fighting despite civil unrest and mounting rage at the realization that there is simply no end.

-PLEASE come walk these dogs. There is nothing I love more than to cruise through the non-ghetto half of our neighbourhood braless and in a cami shouting "MAAAAAAAAC!!!!!"

-Clean your coffee maker. I hear vinegar works. I just run all the pieces through the dishwasher and scour the rest.

-Clean your keyboard. Dump it lightly upside down and watch as screwdrivers, peanuts, and god knows what else cascade out. Sweep them away and wipe the rest.

-Restock all your toilet paper, napkins, paper towels, printer paper, etc.

-Sweep your entryway, inside and out, inviting people over to mock the things you haven't done.

-Have a washer and dryer on your porch. Play a banjo in bare feet.

-Use a lint roller to give your ottomans, blinds, couches, or what-have-you a once over.

-Wipe down five window sills.

(Sam, are you there?)

-Clean one room's worth of baseboards, hand and knees.

-Clear the top of your refrigerator.

Pat yourself on the back and commence primal woman pride ritual, which for most of you will include chocolate, but because I'm hell of unsafe and don't like chocolate I will likely just keep cleaning.

Baby steps, it can be done. By you. Or by me if necessary. Have a happy Friday.


  1. Damn, you are demanding! Don't think I'll go for the washer and dryer look on my porch. I've already got the "two benches, jogging stroller, covered in chalk drawings" porch. I think maybe I can play the banjo too.

  2. 3pm, 3pm, 3pm!!!
    I'm in Washington so I'll be doing little at home.