So if you've never stolen someone's phone out of their jacket pocket at an internet cafe so as to hurry and peck out a meager substitute for Manic Cleaning Saturday surreptitiously before restoring it to its rightful owner, trust me when I say it's really stressful...so cut me some freaking slack!
Seriously, I have no idea what's going on en mi casa. Todd's newfound agricultural fervor may mean I will be greeted by a houseful of goats upon my return, eating my comforter, or he may have finally remodeled the bathroom. I'm on a mission right now and it's taking every minority non-OCD cell in my body not to pace this cafe worrying about it.
But, my life lesson of relinquishing control doesn't let you bitches off the hook. I'm not crouched in some phone booth so you can all sip lattes. Here we go:
-Nail the basics before you have a chance to procrastinate.
-Wash all mirrors.
-Cobweb check, these fall spiders are out en masse. Fuckers.
-Spiff up your living room.
-Clean your front bathroom as if child protective services was coming.
-Take out ALL garbages, and wipe down trash cans.
-Throw out some shit that will make this misdemeanor and my effort worth it.
Now, Debe bitched about the lack of insignificant clip art on the blog while I'm traveling. Please join me in a LOUD collective shout of "Get the f*** over it and clean yo house!"