Thursday, November 5, 2009

Things for Thursday

It is surprisingly difficult to travel without such amenities as mobile web or laptops, and try to uphold online commitments or see who won how many sheep on Farmville. Quick uses of random, glorious PCs, turn into an internal debate about whether to answer your oldest friend's email or boss Moxlings around, and my favourite is asking to check my email, very imperative, on someone's phone, only to be stumbling through some touch screen nightmare for a humiliating hour with my stupid giant fingers trying to surreptitiously blog Moxie. When all the buttons are backwards, or the screens scrolls 700 miles past your spot, or it freezes and you shoot a look to the owner that says, "I really can't say why but you're not getting this back yet," and then quintuple-checking that all accounts are signed out. Of course all this is followed by excessive use of hand sanitizer (both internal and external), as one never knows the adventures of someone else's phone.

Other than keeping my suitcase neat, I've cleaned my purse--which Reilly calls my "luggage," in all seriousness, maintained a strict personal grooming regimen, organized my planner, endured the greatest laundry debacle in all of recorded history, and washed my hands a lot.

My reward awaits me at home, where god only knows untold disasters are spreading like wildfire. Even though Todd assures me all is well, he and Reilly made cookies last night so visions of flour and cookie sheets greeting me upon my return haunt me. Don't get me wrong, he's tidy, but he's not me.

In reading Dawna's post yesterday I was struck by just how many pieces of furniture y'all might have that I never even consider, like wagon wheel coffee tables an shit like that. Those obviously fall under the de-clutter and wipe down categories, and extra credit for Dawna for being so thorough and for reminding me that not everyone has stripped their homes down to beds, computers, dining tables, and couches. And to the reader who texted to ask if I would post before and after cleaning pictures, um, YES! I have asked several times for picture proof, and gotten it, but if you want it published for all this tiny world to see, just say so.

Thursdays are good for:

-Laundry. No seriously, it goes extra fast on Thursdays because it does not want to be touched on weekends.

-Dishes because you have to. You mustn't turn your back to them. Like the ocean.

-Clean five surfaces.

- Wipe down bathrooms. Do it!!!

-Wipe down your wagon wheel coffee table, duh.

-Pick up a minimum of one thousand toys.

-Make a neat stack of paperwork wherever it lives, unless you want to become teacher's pet and actually sort it.

-Dust things hanging on the walls.

-Sweep all floors, curse leaves.

-Make sure you do not have a wardrobe that consists of 90% black sweaters, you'll thank me later.



  1. I don't do mornings! That said, it's still morning here; but once I get past this hurdle I do have some things that I hope to accomplish today-that's assuming I'm able to shake this miserable headache and body ache I have going on. I'm just praying that this is signs of an overworked body left from yesterday and not some looming illness! I will post my accomplishments later. Good luck everyone! :-)

  2. thanks for basically saying my phone is covered in swine flu and gonoherpasyphilaids, jerk.

  3. Do individual Legos (R) each count as a toy, or does the entire floor-covering nook-and-cranny-seeking mess count as one?

  4. Dawna-I saw on fb that you're sickly. What the hell? Everyone I know is sick? Is it some conspiracy to get out of cleaning, 'cause I ain't sick! Nah, if you're all aches and pains, you'd better take it easy.

    Debe-You douche bag, I was trying to be undercover and shit. Way to out me. You so failed the mission. Come clean up this empty gin bottle.

    Anonymous-Either way, totally, whatever gives you the most satisfaction. Even if you use a shovel, you're still picking all 34753489575 pieces up, and you get credit for each one, as well as credit for the entire floor! So yeah, BOTH is my final answer. Excellent question. Is this evil Anonymous, Nice Anonymous, or New Anonymous?

    I'm not home yet so I'm only imagining the disarray and then sucking my thumb until i can conjure up images of order. I'm sure I'll have hella pictures and tears when I return, not because my family is messy but because I is crazy.

  5. Alright, so here is my update. . .
    I have NO clue what's going on with my body. . .why does every part of me hurt?! UGH!

    That said, with a few pain relievers I was able to vacuum the whole downstairs-fireplace room, living room, dining room, hall, and kids rooms
    a little laundry
    clean up Cody's room
    vacuum the upstairs living room
    clean the upstairs bathroom
    wipe the kitchen countertop with antibacterial wipes
    wipe down small appliances (especially knobs and buttons)
    wipe down switches

    All of a sudden, as I was wiping down my countertop, it occurred to me that there were too many knobs, buttons, and switches in my kitchen that had not seen the light of Kirkland wipes; so I changed that! All the while thinking of everyone on here.

    We all wipe down doorknobs and toilet seats, but how about buttons, remotes, light switches, cabinet knobs and/or pulls. . .my new rule of thumb, "if you touch it, wipe it."