Thursday, December 10, 2009

Friday Fails




The more time you spend christmas shopping, or really, just having your eyes open, the greater the frequency with which you will encounter what I have come to call "Moxie Fails." I saw some doozies today, and confess that the second most egregious crime was committed by yours truly, and to be honest, it's not even my most epic fail of late. Hustle + bustle + freezing fingers = sticky calamities, the very worst kind.

The most shocking, and truly unconscionable fail I witnessed was in the Fred Meyer restroom last night. I walked in and my eyes were immediately drawn to a large black mass atop one of those cube-ish garbage cans. My first thought was that someone had thrown away something large and cumbersome. A dead body perhaps. This would have been highly preferable to what it really was. Upon closer scrutiny I saw that it was a really nice pea coat. Being the smooth operator that I am, I grabbed my phone so as to capture this heinous hygiene felony, but just as my camera was focusing, a well-dressed woman walked by, obscuring my view, and then even worse, she grabbed the coat off the GARBAGE CAN, put it ON, and walked out. I almost vomited in my mouth. I think I might become agoraphobic. FAIL!

In a friend's home, I observed one particularly catastrophic misfortune, the culprit being a toddler, and thankfully, these friends are exceedingly averse to mess, so they decided to move, lol. But first:

I think we're all in agreement, toddler + Sharpie + anything = move.

But the counter wasn't the only victim:


I mean, it's not permanent, but it still hurts:


A common fail, but as the saying goes, just because everyone's doing it...


And this, this is just indefensible. It involved syrup, which, despite being a super nice restaurant, ended up all over my entire body, being in public, wearing white, and having been recorded for malicious posterity:

video

So there's that. Good god. Obviously I bathed in hydrochloric acid and burned my clothing, and drowned that iPhone in the syrup.

But, in the spirit of happy endings, I did happen upon this most enchanting new product which I have begun hoarding, and would be remiss not to share:

Disposable pre-filled toothbrushes with a pick on the end?

With visions of Wisps dancing in my head...

5 comments:

  1. OMG, two words-"magic eraser"!!! It is, without a doubt, a gift from the gods!!

    BTW-I am here specifically because my work is in question so I had to come and poke the bear!! ;-P
    That said, if I'm not posting, it's because I can barely see the light of day because I'm so busy! So there!
    Today??? I worked elsewhere. Then I came home, prodded my children to unload the dishwasher, decorated cookies for gift baskets, ate dinner (hotdogs ;-) ), and took K & A to see the nutcracker!

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  2. BTW-I just realized that the picture of the syrup disaster was a video and all I can say is, with friends like the videographer, who needs enemies!!! (Was that you Debe?!) ;-)

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  3. Dawna-Your workload is never in question with me. And I had four packs of Magic Erasers in my hand within minutes. Do I carry them at all times?

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  4. Well if you don't, you should! ;-)

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  5. i totally agree with magic erasers, we have a buttload of them under our kitchen sink, what with two 5 year olds a 4 year old and now kati, who even tho she is only 9 months is proving she will most likely be the worst of them all, she's already a little monster, but i would rather have that considering what we've been thro with her already....the magic erasers, wonderful, every wall in our house was covered with sharpi and pencil...nightmare, until i discovered what a magic eraser can really do!!!!!!!!

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