Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Maddening Moxie FAILS (Long intro)

To bide my time while I reconfigure Moxie's lackluster performance of late (that is, the blog, not the blogger. The blogger has been kicking ass.), I am posting various FAILS I have captured/experienced personally, as well as a few "before" shots from Kasondra, whose energy must come from some power pack, dang.

As a lot of you know, I am not big on screen time. You're much likelier to have to wrestle me into the chair than out of it. I totally love the convenience and majesty of all its tricks, but I just don't like being on the computer. This makes blogging a skoch inconvenient, you know? I read a lot of email on my phone, but I hate responding that way because my phone likes to play power trips about timeliness and reliability. Plus I'm always driving. So I got a laptop. No dice. A laptop is just a library in bed. Having Vaduz, Liechtenstein, Brown vs. The Board of Education, and endless Will & Grace gag reels at hand does not necessarily compel me to open my Blogger Dashboard. Plus, while copious recent DIY remodel jobs have been a total rush, it would seem rude to brandish them, like, "You know how you HATE doing dishes and laundry makes you want to murder kittens? Well look at this room we renovated in one day, or these new cabinets?" This is all to say, the dog ate my blog(s).

The following images may go unnoticed by some of you, or worse, by many of you, but these things are unconscionable to me, even as I stare at them, taking pictures.

Getting into a friend's car. Some people are worth this. Some people are not. This one is, though it was kind of a stretch given the DEL SCORCHO SAUCE, and the fact that I had to say that:

This is reason #38478 I don't shop at WinCo. I was abducted. I escaped after this...and the Mad Hatter dare of lore (shhh...):

This offends me on behalf of literacy AND cleanliness:

This was at Fred Meyer. I complained. I drill apostrophe propriety into my kids (try saying that five times fast!), I don't need this ignorant bullshit undermining me. Besides, what if some three-quarter-wit got distracted looking at this, thinking it looked wrong, and then forgot to buy the caddies with which to clean his/her house???

The following are pics were sent to me by Kasondra, whose inspiration has invigorated me anew. Like most of us, she too has a counter top mistaken by her family as a junk drawer. This is why I feel like all I do is run in a hamster wheel all day:

Closet 1:


Yet another menacing closet:

Can't wait for the "after" shot Kasondra...at 4:00am, lol. I predict Franklin will have it spic 'n span by morning.

What are the rest of you up to?


  1. Um, I really wish I took pictures of the 10 bags of stuff I recently cleared out of my kids rooms. Unfortunately, that makes me feel like I am good to go for another year or so! Love the pics. So, you didn't buy the bath caddy?

  2. Dana, is this you? Ten bags are an indisputable win. Also, what is this bath caddy of which you speak? It's been a caddie-rama around here, I've become forgetful, lol. I probably did.

  3. I will be back in buisness next week, when my honey bunny returns to work. (Ignore the sobbing)
    This means, new regime with baby in the mix. New schedule for Willow's pre-school and hopefully a whole LOT OF CLEANING OMG SOMEONE PASS ME THE GODDAMN DYSON AND THE BLEACH BEFORE I DEHEAD A RUBBER CHICKEN.
    It's not that I want to clean, but more that seeing all the freaking dustbunnies throwing wild parties and screwing up my house is driving me insane. I hear those little bastards at night while I'm sleeping living it up to ''Get down on it''.
    Soooooo.... I will be stalking/leaving rude comments/following along in the cleaning stuff here on Moxie as of Monday.
    You've been warned.

  4. I'll probably have that last "after" photo for you this weekend. It's easier to do deep cleaning when DH is here to watch Franklin.

    And, there was talk of you doing a routine or schedule for us? Consider this me pressuring you!