Sunday, August 29, 2010

Knock Knock...Who's There? It's Moxie!

Still fighting some vertigo from the endless loop-the-loops yesterday, I decided to sneak in on Dbro and make sure she wasn't giving in to any loopholes on the weekend cleaning code. And to see if the coffee was brewing.

I am proud to report she passed with flying colours. This is not without a price however, because I instantly felt that my own house was crawling with scabies. I'd planned to do little things to sabotage her throughout the day but she presented me with an epic FAIL all on her own. Stay tuned!

What would you do if I came knocking on your door one upcoming weekend? (I like espresso with water and milk, iced or tepid.)

First of all, I resent that Debe is the minimalist I want to be. Her retail addiction pummels mine, and yet, her house is deliciously sparse, and she has an innate knack for positioning things that...I'm not gonna lie...makes me hate her a little.

Sorren's entertainment wall:

Convenient toy rest stop, and the last green corduroy papasan chair in Target. Bitch:

Bleach still my heart. (Shut up, my brain is still in centrifugal force...)

A clean kitchen means the better to feed me with!

Cleanliness + ambiance = WIN:

Going to Fred Meyer trusting the ambiance to behave, WAXY FAIL:

Obviously I burst out laughing, since it was the most inappropriate thing I could do. She tried to see the spontaneous artistic flare of it and considered leaving it, which lasted 4.3 seconds and then she was scraping her hands into the Carpal Tunnel Hall of Fame. I couldn't deduct points for this because I didn't blow it out either, and I was the one who took forever. (What, I was christmas shopping in August--it is so brilliant I am beside myself.)

You get an A+ jerkface. Keep it up. Just find a new place for your gum, and lose the KIT-tens.

Look and learn folks! You can do it too.


  1. Nice place! I've been trying to have a kitchen like that since 1983! 18,000 garage sales later everything looks the same, no comments from the peanut gallery...

    Obviously I don't belong here, but here I am anyway, really jealous, but also must remark that the cord of the mixer near (freaking on top of!)the burner must be addressed.

    Love Mom

  2. Haha! I was totally going to nail her about the cord but wanted to see if anyone caught it.

    I think it was more like 19,000 garage sales, but you've shopped 20,000, so there's that.

    And you belong anywhere I am. <3

    And, you belong hh

  3. If you need someone to fail when you make a surprise visit I definitely offer up my place!
    I don't know what it is but I have definitely lost my Moxie. I can't remember the last time I spent any time doing any real cleaning.

    Um... Miley is kind of killing my concentration! How is she a good act to follow Pink???

    I too love the minimalism but these two kids of mine will not be contained to a singular wall unit! Despite that I'm desperately wanting one and hoping it will solve all my back to school issues.

    Damn, I have no wit this morning just pity for my sad state LOL

  4. I am jealous of the kitchen. I love glass jars and I remember Debe talking about labeling them in case you forget what oats look like or something. LOL. They look charming!

    BTW, wax comes up much easier if you let it harden. LMAO! I still say you should give a PayDay bar when delivering laundry!

  5. I was a cleaning fail today but a fiend yesterday. Moss off the shed roof, four loads of laundry for a friend, and the regulars. Tonight: the guest room. Send reinforcements!

  6. extremely jealous, oh to be so organized! Love it!
    Looks like Deb-ster has a cat. Nice! Also proves she is pure awesomeness since she is not adverse to cat hair.

  7. J--Wait, you mean you don't love Miley? Dang, why ya gotta be a hater? I can't remember why I added that. I think I was trying to be eclectic to get everyone moving, and obviously fell completely off the spectrum. Sorry!

    Your house is never fail, so shut up. And enjoy squeezing those babies. <3

    PS--Nothing solves back-to-school issue...NOTHING!

    Dana--Um, not quite. *I* know what oats look like, I teased her and pretended to be bitter about her using my labeler as if *she* couldn't tell which were the oats. Also, the table is fucked, bwahahaha, and I am so over Pay Days I can't even tell you. I had never had one and it was my healthiest option like a month ago so it was totally amazing. The next one was okay, and the next one I had to choke down like some python. But I will give lectures when delivering laundry!

    Still waiting...

    Susannah--That's awesome, it means you're still wired for Saturdays! (What the hell is Saturday right?) Moss off the shed? In a sling? Trying to break the other wrist? Rotator cuff? Guest room huh? You expecting a guest? And which reinforcements did you have in mind exactly? ...

    Good job on your massive attack of random and holy shit effort, as well as having "regulars." (wecanhasrum?)

  8. Ackshully... *I* was the one to make the oats joke. Back off my material!

    You should've seen the ramentastrophe tonight, omg.

  9. Debe, u da bomb! Way to be lady! Can I come live with you?? PLEASE tell me that this is not how it always is, that it was good timing on the part of Moxie. . . Ah, well the things I can aspire to be. . . <3