Friday, May 29, 2009
I'm sorry I keep confusing this blog with my own personal psychotherapy/medical journal, but it's hard to let my achievements wane without explaining the circumstances.
Yesterday I had a severe side effect emerge from the surgery, and it escalated into the worst pain/panic I've ever experienced in my life (including two births). My family went into action with military precision (I have taught them well) and put me to sleep with a heavy tranquilizer. It almost worked. I was, essentially, paralyzed until 8am, but I woke often throughout the night. Thus, I am sad to report that Moxie's lost a bit of that lovin' feelin' today.
Note: This is what makes me different from you: I sleep on the couch. It's a long story. But I like to be close to my kids' room, close to the phones, close to the windows, close to everything. Last night Pamela pointed out, rightly so, that part of what is inhibiting my sleep is being surrounded by lights, noise, commotion, all the time. So in the flurry of getting me to sleep, STAT, my mom and Todd whisked me into the back bedroom, which I recently outfitted with a whole new bedding ensemble, but wherein I do not sleep. Mom brought me my pillow from the couch, but I was so incensed to be in this bed, with mismatched pillows, I demanded my couch pillow be returned to the couch. The pillows in the bed are these custom frou-frou neck support pillows that I can't get comfortable with. So, it was either sleep on the nice supportive pillow, or surrender to having my favourite pillow alongside a pillow that didn't match. My response to this was to cry, for a very long time, as the stress of it made all my pains increase exponentially. Furthermore, I was more comfortable on my right side but felt I could hear my kids better on my left side, even though they are quite competent, and able to find me, no matter how I'm sleeping. I couldn't settle in until my mom closed the closet doors, straightened the books on the bedside table, and basically sat and talked to me until I was essentially felled like a Redwood. If you're curious, I woke up a few hours later with my purple pillow, shocked not to have died from the indignity of the mismatchedness of it all. I was in such a state of panic, I felt that without me in the front room, my very old (9 and 10 year old) kids would be unable to brush their teeth, get their jammies on, and they may forget that I love them, hidden away back in the bedroom. How could they possibly sleep with me back there? (Reminder, our house is exactly five sq. ft.) It may seem amusing and/or alarming, but that is where an OCD mind goes even as people are discussing hospitalization. I never just go to bed, I have to inadvertently fall asleep doing something else, so this was like torture. That's why my mom sat beside me, at 31, until I crashed, because I needed to feel like we were just talking, and I happened to fall asleep. I always try so hard to shield my kids from my pain, my fears, OCD impulses, etc. Typically I have an unusually high pain threshold but last night there were simply too many pains with which to contend. As my eyes began to slam shut like a manual garage door, Reilly brought in this bracelet for me to wear. I swear, it made all the difference:
Weaving out into the hallway this morning, like some drunk, my camisole concealing nothing, I:
-Made two beds.
-Started the washing machine and threw all remaining clothes in.
-Emptied the garbage, sprayed it out, wiped it down.
-Made protein shake, took meds, antibiotics, floradix, so many things.
-Wiped down the kitchen clumsily.
-Made the kids' chore lists.
-De-cluttered counter somewhat.
-Put on pants (very important).
My head is still swirling from the sedative fog, so there's no telling what I will do, but rest assured I won't get behind, even if I have to keep my children in on this beautiful day, lest our grasp on household duties weaken.
Not to worry, you guys never do what I do anyway, you tend to use my challenges and a mixture of your own ingredients, which is awesome. I'm primarily concerned with not letting your weekend become eclipsed by tasks that could have been managed earlier in the week. So what I want you to do is:
-Make a list of ten things you don't want to have to stress over the weekend. Any ten things. If it's dishes, use paper plates, ask partners for help, kids, whomever. If it's laundry, GET IT ALL DONE TODAY! If it's my junk drawer, PLEASE come and organize it. It's crying for you. Seriously, ten things you don't want looming over you the next two days, so do them today.
-Then set your timer for ten minutes and walk the length of your house with a damp cloth, picking up garbage, wiping spots, straightening, dusting, fast fast fast!
-Finally, I want you to pull all your sofa cushions off and after picking up Littlest Pet Shops and halves of crayons, use your rag to wipe it clean. Heck, maybe throw those zip-off cushion covers into the wash. Once you've completed phase one, pull however many couches you have out, and sweep behind them. Spray some Febreze on your finished product, and have a seat.
Got that? Ten things you can do today instead of letting them cost you relaxation this weekend, a ten minute walk through to spiff up the joint, and sofa deep cleaning. Give me a report that will make it worth having dragged my ass out of bed, or some really hilarious excuses.
To anyone who, in addition to their other challenges, POSTS or sends me a picture of their Tupperware drawer, since we've been discussing them. This means an extra entry into the Starbucks gift card bowl. Let's see them drawers!