Today, the part of Manic Coffee/Cleaning Saturday will be played by Sit on your Ass and be Thankful You're Alive Saturday. I don't know about you, but taking the mania out of this ritual is pretty brutal, taking the coffee is out has rendered me speechless, but taking the cleaning out??? This may be the greatest test of my life.
This is my abysmal list for the day, what a fraud I am. I'll understand if you pack your bags and move to a real blog, but just know that I must adhere to these ridiculous rules of recovery, lest I am captured by the head hunters, lying in wait to find me with a sponge in my hand.
(Please pardon my penmanship. It gets really bad performance anxiety.)
Now it's onto the delicate balance of resting and sneaking. Wish me luck.
For Emily, who asked to take a gander at my solvents of choice, these were the usual suspects I was able to round up without waking the sheriff:
(L-R: Soft Scrub with Lemon, which I use for sinks and bathrooms, and alternate with Ajax once a month, Windex is self-explanatory, I'm sorry to say I was never sold on the do-it-yourself-concoctions, like Grandma used to make. Some people have to because of sensitivities, but I need the chemical-laden heavy hitters in my arsenal. Next up, Lemon-scented Lysol, all-purpose spray, because it tastes, er, works really well as a general disinfectant that smells good. Nice for keeping on the counter, in the bathroom, in your purse, and as a substitute when you run out of Kirkland Wipes. CLR gets some scary shit off your fixtures, it's awesome. I don't believe in masking odors (well, I don't believe in odors), but once the scouring is complete, Febreze is a good finishing touch. I keep some in my car, because I'm sick like that. Kirkland Wipes, you must never go without. Clean up your sinks, your counters, your refrigerator, errant smudges, door knobs, good for dusting, they're your deputy in the war on grime. Lastly, Mr. Magic Eraser. These live up to the hype. I've scrubbed Sharpie off of doors and walls with these. They last as long as the green light on Mission and 25th, but they're worth it. I'm sure there are more, but I was sneaking.
OMG. Somehow I overlooked bleach, because it lives in its own chateau. Her Majesty:
-Choose anything from my list, except the resting (unless you are pregnant).
-Move all clothes, book bags, jackets, Ds's, off of wherever they are currently strewn. Threaten your children, but get this stuff to its rightful place.
-Clear off and wipe your dining table. Even if you don't eat there. Even if you home school, and it's your swamp/desk.
-Wipe down the cupboard faces in your kitchen.
-Plan dinner and clean dishes as you go. The stove top is hostile territory for your pans okay? Once you leave them there your stress factor increases exponentially.
-Sweep your laundry room.
-Dust your main book shelves/hutches/cabinets with a wipe or damp cloth.
-If three people clean their junk drawers, I will as well, lying down of course.
Okay, I know it's hot, and you're all Leopard Geckos like Megan. Let's see what we can do. I'm proud of you no matter what. Well, no, if you all lie around in your underwear today like me, I'll be really pissed. You owe it to me to do something.