Saturday, May 30, 2009

Slowly but Saturday

Today, the part of Manic Coffee/Cleaning Saturday will be played by Sit on your Ass and be Thankful You're Alive Saturday. I don't know about you, but taking the mania out of this ritual is pretty brutal, taking the coffee is out has rendered me speechless, but taking the cleaning out??? This may be the greatest test of my life.

This is my abysmal list for the day, what a fraud I am. I'll understand if you pack your bags and move to a real blog, but just know that I must adhere to these ridiculous rules of recovery, lest I am captured by the head hunters, lying in wait to find me with a sponge in my hand.


(Please pardon my penmanship. It gets really bad performance anxiety.)

Now it's onto the delicate balance of resting and sneaking. Wish me luck.

For Emily, who asked to take a gander at my solvents of choice, these were the usual suspects I was able to round up without waking the sheriff:

(L-R: Soft Scrub with Lemon, which I use for sinks and bathrooms, and alternate with Ajax once a month, Windex is self-explanatory, I'm sorry to say I was never sold on the do-it-yourself-concoctions, like Grandma used to make. Some people have to because of sensitivities, but I need the chemical-laden heavy hitters in my arsenal. Next up, Lemon-scented Lysol, all-purpose spray, because it tastes, er, works really well as a general disinfectant that smells good. Nice for keeping on the counter, in the bathroom, in your purse, and as a substitute when you run out of Kirkland Wipes. CLR gets some scary shit off your fixtures, it's awesome. I don't believe in masking odors (well, I don't believe in odors), but once the scouring is complete, Febreze is a good finishing touch. I keep some in my car, because I'm sick like that. Kirkland Wipes, you must never go without. Clean up your sinks, your counters, your refrigerator, errant smudges, door knobs, good for dusting, they're your deputy in the war on grime. Lastly, Mr. Magic Eraser. These live up to the hype. I've scrubbed Sharpie off of doors and walls with these. They last as long as the green light on Mission and 25th, but they're worth it. I'm sure there are more, but I was sneaking.

OMG. Somehow I overlooked bleach, because it lives in its own chateau. Her Majesty:


-Choose anything from my list, except the resting (unless you are pregnant).

-Move all clothes, book bags, jackets, Ds's, off of wherever they are currently strewn. Threaten your children, but get this stuff to its rightful place.

-Clear off and wipe your dining table. Even if you don't eat there. Even if you home school, and it's your swamp/desk.

-Wipe down the cupboard faces in your kitchen.

-Plan dinner and clean dishes as you go. The stove top is hostile territory for your pans okay? Once you leave them there your stress factor increases exponentially.

-Sweep your laundry room.

-Dust your main book shelves/hutches/cabinets with a wipe or damp cloth.

-If three people clean their junk drawers, I will as well, lying down of course.

Okay, I know it's hot, and you're all Leopard Geckos like Megan. Let's see what we can do. I'm proud of you no matter what. Well, no, if you all lie around in your underwear today like me, I'll be really pissed. You owe it to me to do something.


  1. i choose 'watch dexter' from your list. i'm not planning to accomplish much today, sweeping the floor for sure, maybe dust a bit. i am not feeling energetic for cleaning today. where's my do-rag? i love seeing your handwritten lists, i need one. <3

  2. I'm joining you for "rest on your ass" Saturday. I did my big pre-surgery cleaning burst yesterday, but today, I'm looking down at my stitches going "Hells no." My list is to try to pick up rogue items as I go from room to room.

    Do you need or want some trashy books to enjoy in between Dexter and resting and sneaking?

  3. yep, handwritten lists are very...real. Not to mention they give you a physical sign of things completed in addition to the obvious.
    Ironically, I'm laying here in bed with my computer, the ultimate in laziness. Now that I've read your blog, though, I suddenly feel like a slug. "MOTIVATE!"
    I think I'm going to take the kids to grandma and grandpas today. And of course homework...
    Does homework count as cleaning???

  4. Oh and Thank you for admitting you use "real" cleaning products. I try to make the hippy stuff work for me, but it just doesn't do the job. I do like the Clorox Green Works line including the foaming bathroom cleanser, but when I need the big guns I still go for the soft scrub.

    While we're on the subject of tools, what mop do you use? What's your preferred duster? Sponge or scrub brush for the bathroom?

  5. I use very few cleaning products in my house, but my house isn't that clean either. I regularly use Simple Green for everything from floors to counters to rabbit cage trays. I use a powdered mix my mom makes me from washing soda, borax and who knows what else-it works great for tubs and sinks. I occasionally use bleach, but not very often. I also have a bottle of Windex but I don't care for it, and keep telling myself I'm going to make my own window cleaner.

    Anyway-I'm going to do some cleaning today. Tackle the laundry pile which is out of control at this point. Will also be cleaning the toilet because it really needs it.

  6. I try not to use chemically chemicals. We're on sceptic and those things really screw up the balance in the tank, bleach too. I'm a vinegar kind of girl. Well, at least as much as possible. :-)

    As for today, I went with dh and dd to Lowe's to get yard stuff and flowers. They worked outside (I am *not* an outdoors girl) while I cleaned the kitchen. With my b-day Thursday, and Friday being an errand day and leaving for a movie right after dinner, the kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off this morning. That's what I took care of...and it looks quite nice. Yay me!

  7. Homemade window cleaner is exceptionally easy. White vinegar in a spray bottle. That's it. You can add a few drops of essential oil for a more pleasant smell (the vinegar dissipates but the EO stays). I recommend lemon!

    So far I've done 90% of the dishes (the rest are awaiting turn drying), cleaned my washing machine with bleach, cleaned my entry runner, planted and pruned in the yard, bought a lawn mower at one store, shorts for the boy at another, ate lunch at some random air conditioned place, bought stuff at home depot, drove to aumsville for an air conditioner (blessed is emily), stopped at the market to get last minute stuff for my mother-in-law's birthday party, and am not home nursing again with a fan on full blowing in my face so I don't spontaneously combust.

    More to come when the sun goes down.

  8. Ok yesterday was a work day for me, as is most weekends. So I ate breakfast in bed with my still sick man, went to work, blogged between calls (multi-tasking babeh!) and chilled after work until I made a healthy dinner!

    And I really must start making handwritten lists...although my handwriting isn't as awesome as yours Chey *basks in your total handwriting awesomeness*

  9. Gail-I have to watch Dexter on the computer, and I can only sit up for so long on Vicodin, but I watched four episodes, and it was so worth the pain in my ass! I know you are hard pressed to even find areas in need of cleaning, so anything you do is just a cherry on top. :)

    Bethany-Hooray for resting! For you, that is, not me, I despise it. Kudos for maximizing your achy strides across the house by picking things up, now, don't do anything more okay? As for books, I think I'm covered. My life has been a trashy novel of late, so I'm reading poignant, painful non-fiction. I'm glad I wasn't drawn and quartered for my brazen use of non-green solvents. They just don't work for me. I sort of figure, if they're not killing me a little, how can they be killing the dirt? As for mops, I use a Swiffer Wet Jet, though my kitchen floor is small, and gets the old hands-and-knees treatment regularly. I also use it on our one-inch-by-one-inch bathrooms and laundry room. For dusting, I either use a Kirkland wipe or a damp cloth. Rudimentary I know, but it works better than anything else, and requires no space.

    Dawna-Anyone with four kids who's also in school gets my full support for stealing a morning in bed with the laptop. Homework counts because you can't focus on cleaning until it's done. Way to improvise!

    Chelsea-I hear great things about Simple Green, I'm just a creature of habit where my products are concerned. We've also used Borax. Laundry and toilets sound like a great battle plan.

    Wendy-A clean kitchen deserves a round of applause indeed, as it is the most fretted-over area in any household. Good job!

    Megan-I'm just so glad you got an air conditioner, nothing else matters. :)

    Mesina-Blogging between calls rocks. I read all your posts and hope to comment when I'm not falling down drunk on Vicodin (betcha couldn't tell right?). Thanks for your charitable handwriting comment, you sweet, well-intended liar! xoxo

    You guys are troupers in this heat, my hat is off to all of you.

  10. I'm not knocking "regular" cleaning products-I have some anxiety triggers over them though. Nothing sends me running for a Zanax like breathing in Windex particles.