Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Touchdown Tuesday

Morning Moxlings, are you feeling it? You guys have been working your tails off, even those of you who don't think you've done anything. I know better, and I'm here to pull you out of the guilt ditch, because it's never too late.

Something Dawna said yesterday really resonated and I wanted to share for those of you who didn't read comments:

All I have to do is get started and the cleaning seems to snowball.

This is precisely what I'm trying to instill in you. And this is a mama of four who also goes to school. I realize that it's unreasonable to expect that every swipe of the counter top will lead to a shampooing frenzy, but it's all about maximizing your effort. If you are already wiping it down though, you may as well go through that seemingly benign pile of mail that will feel like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina when it gnashes its teeth at you tomorrow morning, or tonight, when you're not even sure you have the energy to drop dead.

As long as you're standing, do three more things than you planned. As long as you're crouching, pick up and/or spot check three more things than you planned.

This morning while passing a mirror, I saw one of the back-up dancers from Michael Jackson's Thriller video staring back at me, blankly. Only, truth be told, I'd have to get a make-over to look that good. And still, this is what I've done today:

Made beds.

Finished laundry.

Made a protein shake, because my mouth is reacting so violently to the acidic vegetables I've been eating, my throat is literally swelling shut. And yet, I prioritize cleaning. That's the difference between diligence and OCD.

Wiped down kitchen.

Mounted two adhesive hooks on the cupboard for the colanders, freeing up precious counter space.

Swept kitchen.

Cleared off counter.

Cleaned off the tops of my beloved ottomans with a lint roller.

Wiped down garbage can after a tea bag dripped--that shit really stains! Dang!

Started Second Breakfast (soy yogurt), you know, in honour of the Hobbits in my life.

After my doctor's appointment I hope to:

*Fold all laundry (which automatically means putting it away)

*Bleach all sinks

*Straighten out all my girl shit on the back (allegedly dual) vanity.

*Empty waste baskets

*Dust dust dust, fuck fuck fuck.

*Keep tackling drawers until I don't hear ominous horror movie music every time I open one.

*Wash back bath mats

Have I mentioned how much I hate showering? As in, literal hatred? Well I do. Obviously, my OCD mandates daily showers, and I relish being clean, I just hate stripping down to my naught and getting all wet like a soaked, feral cat, and having to build the make up and hair back up from scratch. So, I put it off as long as I can, everyday. Also, I am more inspired to clean when I'm unshowered because, let's face it, being clean and sweating go together like mayonnaise on a delicious Costco cake, with capers on top. So I will notoriously hold off on showers until people are coming over to force me in. For instance, I have an appointment at 11:00 today, and at 10:58 Quinn (my 10 year old son) will be prodding, "Mom, you have to get in the shower!" So I always count this on my mental list because it involves cleaning, and it's something I hate doing, despite being so glad afterward, and the fact that it took a village.

Please share in my joy over the endless battle for counter space:

Hanging colanders, no longer a temptation for Todd's compulsive stacking/stashing/burrowing!

Space. My prize:

Okay now that that's out of my system, here is what I'd like you to work on today:

*L&D, which by now you know means folding, putting away, and wiping down the surfaces in your kitchen. This is daily. Accept it. Soon you won't notice, and someday you won't have wept at the sight of dishes in a long time.

*Pick up all grabage, whether on table tops or the floor, and throw it all away. The empty any wastebaskets that are full. May as well give your primary garbage can a spray of something and a wipe down. It only takes two minutes.

*Make your bed, and put away whatever needs to be put away in order to do so. I want you all to imagine a force field around your bedroom, and keep it clean. It will help you sleep and you will absolutely wake up happier.

*Toss up between vacuuming, if it's time for that again, and cleaning all surfaces.

Sam-You are hereby under strict orders never to devalue yourself or your perceived non-efforts here. If people had the vaguest clue about your life, they would turn to pillars of salt, so you hush. You're the person I'm thinking of when I say to stop thinking of the entire house, and just on the task in front of you. I know that you can't, but that's my wish for you. Here is your challenge: Set a timer and have V & C race to clean the front living room and the back living room areas. Or, if those feel clean enough to you, have them work together, racing to clean their room in ten minutes. Stay on that kitchen, do a manic wall-to-wall clutter sweep, and sit. With a pad of paper. And instead of listing what you're not doing, tell me what you are doing/have done. I'm not kidding. Do this.

As for the rest of you, I know you'll exceed my expectations, I can't wait to hear everything. Meanwhile, I'm going to spray a fire extinguisher in my mouths in hopes it will put out the flames which have engulfed my throat, and possibly knock me out and afford me a bit of sleep. Yes yes, I will clean the foam up as I asphyxiate.


  1. Yesterday was a very good clean day despite the freaking gallbladder pain that just won't quit. I was proud of myself for doing dishes and laundry before collapsing in bed last night. This a.m. I picked up the living room and bathroom, and I'm off to do my L&D and shower. And maybe get all wild and crazy and do this bed making thing. (Although when you see my bedroom you will LAUGH at the hubris of that statement).

  2. Eek, Gallbladder pain is the worst or the worst. Serious props to you Wavy for getting anything done in spite of it.

    Hooray for counter space!!! (grabs pom-poms: Give me a C. Give me an O. Give me a U...well, you get the picture). Extra counter space is a big deal. And what a clever solution for your colanders. Snaps for Moxie.

    I didn't get to a kitchen drawer yesterday (bows head in shame), 'cause I am a lazy, lazy slacker. Last night I was able to label all of our new canisters in the pantry and new spice containers on the fridge (I think we are up to like 65 now...seriously...maybe it's time for a spice intervention). And that feels good. It makes it feel more permanent. Like, here you are little friend, this is your home now, this is where you live. (oh dried fruit, they grow up so quickly)

    So on the agenda today in addition to all of my usual daily chores:

    -Scrub out garbage cans (talk about emergencies)
    -Clean/organize TWO kitchen drawers (as atonement for yesterday's laziness)
    -Clean/clear laundry room
    -Give master bathroom a general hose down

    My cleaning song of the day: "Waking up in Vegas" by Katy Perry

  3. Alright Chey. I have my working list, will make some progress, and post back. Thank you! :)

    (And I promise, no guilt. Or at least I'll try.)

  4. Alright today was just about as productive as slicing bread with a spoon! I had all the best intentions today, plans to make a glorious list, iron all of my laundry (and catch up on some tv while doing so) but no...my reason however is very valid and I promise I am not slacking, but health comes first and today I had to rest.

    SOOOO tomorrow the ironing. My laundry is still sitting there waiting patiently for me to iron it and put it away, so tomorrow I will get on the ball and do as I had planned.

    But even though I had to rest up, I still managed to sit on the sofa and make all those pesky phone calls that I was putting off. You know, the ones to government people who want to know that I moved like 3 months ago (yeah I did mention I had put them off!) oh the joys of being self employed, they wanna know where I live so they can send me bills! Pfft!

    I promise I will get right back on track tomorrow, with everything I couldn't get done today. *hand on heart*


  5. PS. Just to mention Chey....my Dutchman just earned himself another stud point last night (guys...mind out of gutters please and read on!)He said the sweetest thing I have ever heard come out of his mouth since the first time he said ''I love you''... he said...

    ''Honey, how about we get a new dryer when I get paid''


  6. This is my list today

  7. *coffee
    *make bed
    *rinse out grav bag and hang more 'food' for Mom
    *juiced beet and carrots
    *crushed and prepped meds and vitamins
    *pushed (administered) meds, vits and juice
    *looked up how to kill aphids, mixed up some aphid killing spray and sprayed the hellspawn back from whence they came. God. I hate them.
    *rotated laundry and groaned about the enormity of finishing all the laundry.
    **NOTE: when I say rotate, I fold/hang whatever is in the dryer as I take it out, then shift the wet stuff and start a new load. No piles of stuff to fold left for later!
    *had more coffee and lunch
    *began ironing dh's work clothes
    *rotated laundry
    *continued ironing and directed kids to chores from the ironing board
    *finally finished ironing slacks and shirts!
    *put away all the hanging clothes, towels and folded clothes
    *rotated laundry

    I'm now going to round up all garbage, straighten up the kitchen, task the kids with cleaning the living room, and get ready for a 5:30 meeting.

    I think I may need more coffee.

  8. I spent 2+ hours fruitlessly digging through, and halfass organizing a trunk of my grandparents pictures last night looking for my parents' wedding photos at their place.

    I'm giving my self props for it even though it wasn't at my house. It was fun to boot.

    I got home somewhere in the neighborhood of 9:30 so picking up our garbage from dinner was my task for the day :-)

    I hope to accomplish something more rewarding this evening, after grocery shopping.

  9. Bethany-All that with a funky gallbladder? You get entered twice. Excellent! And while I do not live by this rule, please don't make yourself sick by cleaning.

    Lazy slacker, er, Jacob-Fabulous, I'm jealous. You have stricken that balance of living in decadence yet simplicity. I am so thrilled if I can claim 1% of your success.

    Sam-No guilt was all I cared about with you, and so you really knocked my socks off with your list. You never cease to amaze.

    Mesina-Another Moxling cleaning through the pain. Phone calls are the worst, extra credit. And the dryer? Swoon. I'm loving this guy.

    Megan-Read your blog, I'm duly impressed. I wish I had taken pictures of your sparkling kitchen the other night. I hope your company affords you extra hands to tackle some of your pressing concerns. If not, we'll do it next week.

    Jennifer-Helping others clean is its own reward, what a wonderful gift. Also, I have it good authority, as well as my own experience, that your house is pretty damned clean, so, no skin off your back. Mamas with full time jobs impress me the most.

  10. samantha- that's how I used to do laundry too. I want a table in my garage so I can do that and also have a space for other work I might want to do out there. I also want a baby with some sense of self preservation so that I can do things like stand in the garage and work on laundry for 10 minutes. She'd rather suck on bleach caps though (and yes, she did in fact unscrew the bleach cap and suck on it this morning).

  11. Megan-Wow is all I can say about Ivy!!! I'm thankful my kids weren't ever much into getting into stuff like that. I guess it is still a possibility for Z. My sister's kids have eaten some scary/odd things. I sympathize.