As you can see, it's nearly nightfall and your fearless leader has only just dragged her ass to the computer to light a fire under you guys. But could someone light one under me first?
I have that certain complacency one gets when one has scrubbed her house to a sparkling shine, and slacks off the next day, so that the following day, the house is war-torn Bosnia.
What I have done though is:
-Made all beds.
-Rotated two loads of laundry.
-Did the dishes, cleaned sink, counters, cleared counter top.
-Ate, took meds.
-Looked around to see what, if anything, I can achieve while asleep.
-Contemplated how many horse tranquilizers it will take to get me to sleep.
-Wiped down computer are.
-Placed my nice table runner, recently washed, on the table, cursed the wrinkles, and realized I am an ass and owe Jacob an apology for making fun of his ironing napkins and such. It's a must people. Sorry Jacob!
-Wiped down guest toilet.
-Pretended not to see the recently replaced bedskirt and shams, air drying, and not to notice that they've been dry for two days and need to be put in storage with the comforter. Like the part in Pee Wee's Big Adventure when the pet store catches on fire and Pee Wee keeps avoiding the snakes. Like that.
-Possibly stole (?) someone's song: Shut Up and Let Me Go, by the Ting Tings? My kids keep hearing it on a commercial so I looked it up. Wasn't trying to copy.
Question: Do you guys know that each night I respond to the comments you leave throughout the day? Do you read what I post? Do you care? (Be honest.) Would it be easier if I posted my responses here each day? The open feedback, with me, and with each other, really seems to help motivate, and push through the 4 o'clock sudden-onset dead-tiredness. Let me know what you think.
The tasks I will be cursing today:
-Ridding my troubled mind of said linens.
-Folding all laundry.
-Possibly washing all windows (our entire house is windows, so, UGH!).
-Organizing the Junk Drawer From Hell while watching a much-anticipated movie, later. (I do not permit TV in the daytime, it makes me sick and enraged.)
-Something to show up Jacob, like maybe re-tile my bathroom, or hang swags of wildflowers braided together, flecked with sparkles. <3
-Dust for all eternity.
-Sweep laundry room, bathrooms, and back porch.
-Wash bath mats.
-Fill out some hideous paperwork online.
-Get seven blood draws for my surgery next week.
-Do some much-dreaded transcribing.
-Clean up my camera card. (This counts because--do you guys know this?--I LOATHE being on the computer)
Ready guys? Here's your outline. Modify as necessary, but do share your progress. I am seeing that this is key to our collective success. My objective is to envision a typical house, and assign you to various, deliberate areas, so that you never face an entire shit hole again. But feel free to improvise as you see fit, you're all doing an incredible job.
-Don't let those dishes nor that laundry sneak up on you. You're winning this battle, don't let your guard down. And by dishes I mean the pans on the stove, wipe down counters, sweep the floor, spot check. (Three minutes.)
-Wipe down bathroom sinks, toilets, I like to wash my bath mats often. If it's not too overwhelming, toss them in, and then sweep and Swiffer the bathrooms. Check the shower for pink patches. Uh oh. If they're on the liner, throw it in the wash. If it's on the floor or wall, go get your solvent of choice. No excuses.
-Check your bedroom. Bed made? Clothes hung up? Laundry banished? Run the vacuum, and while you're at it, vacuum the rest of the house. (Only three extra minutes.)
-Is it time to empty wastebaskets again? It's easiest to put the bathroom ones and such into the big kitchen one and haul it out as one. Do check, and possibly wipe down the cans if they need it. (They do.)
-Clear three surfaces.
-Wipe all door knobs. Swine Flu. Duh.
How's that? Get all this done and you're looking really good for a stress-free weekend. Get to it!