Friday, June 26, 2009
Cleaning Sans Strawberries
You know, not everyone has heaps of juicy strawberries tempting us at every turn, and since you've all attempted to incorporate eating strawberries into your cleaning posts, I need to redefine the rules and regulations here.
EATING STRAWBERRIES IS NOT CLEANING. EVEN IF THEY MAKE A MESS YOU HAVE TO CLEAN!
Now, in keeping things honest, I will confess that sleeping is not cleaning either, yet I can't seem to stop. I got home early this morning, and woke about a half an hour ago. You know how motivating it is to wake with the day half over. So, pissed off, I:
-Rotated the last load of laundry.
-Made two beds.
-Wiped down bathroom.
-Made protein shake/took meds.
-Made kids' chore lists.
-Read AWFUL paperwork.
-Made play dates for kids tomorrow, which required talking on the phone when I was still tired and braless.
-Served my kids breakfast, as they were up late too.
-Did all the dishes/scrubbed sink.
-Wrote my delicate bath mats a sonnet in hopes that they will dry this month.
I am dangerously close to having a bit of coffee, in which case I will do the following before I drop dead:
-Scour front bathroom with a toothpick. Waiting on the remodel isn't working anymore. Possibly go nuts and go buy pain and start painting so that Todd is forced to finish properly. ("I was only trying to help...")
-Conquer at least two out of four of the remaining food cupboards mocking me.
-BUY A WORLD MAP, UGH!
-Put a shitload of photographs away that my mom meanly thrust upon me in a recent visit. I'll probably burn them. I am *still* in the awkward phase. Is that fair?
-Sweep laundry room.
-Sweep back porch.
-Try again on the bins for the porch.
-Dust master bedroom/bathroom.
FOR YOU, ON THIS FINE FRIDAY:
-No posting about your goddamn strawberries you heartless bitches!
-Empty all wastebaskets, including main garbage, and fill the little ones with bleach and hot water, set them in the bath tub, soak, rinse, re-line later. This shit feels good in your mind, trust me.
-Wipe down five appliances, as well as you can. Bonus points for taking things out and getting down and dirty.
-Wipe cupboard faces with Kirkland wipes, in the kitchen as well as the bathroom(s).
-Dust tv/dvd/game system area, really well!
-While you have the rag in hand, dust that computer, over, under, in between.
-Dust/wipe lamps/light fixtures.
-Clear and wipe dining room table.
-Mr. Magic one major wall/nook until it gleams.
There. That ought to keep your hands out of those strawberries. Can't wait to hear...