Friday, June 26, 2009

Cleaning Sans Strawberries


You know, not everyone has heaps of juicy strawberries tempting us at every turn, and since you've all attempted to incorporate eating strawberries into your cleaning posts, I need to redefine the rules and regulations here.

EATING STRAWBERRIES IS NOT CLEANING. EVEN IF THEY MAKE A MESS YOU HAVE TO CLEAN!

Okay there.

Now, in keeping things honest, I will confess that sleeping is not cleaning either, yet I can't seem to stop. I got home early this morning, and woke about a half an hour ago. You know how motivating it is to wake with the day half over. So, pissed off, I:

-Rotated the last load of laundry.

-Made two beds.

-Wiped down bathroom.

-Made protein shake/took meds.

-Made kids' chore lists.

-Read AWFUL paperwork.

-Made play dates for kids tomorrow, which required talking on the phone when I was still tired and braless.

-Served my kids breakfast, as they were up late too.

-Did all the dishes/scrubbed sink.

-Wrote my delicate bath mats a sonnet in hopes that they will dry this month.

I am dangerously close to having a bit of coffee, in which case I will do the following before I drop dead:

-Fold laundry.

-Scour front bathroom with a toothpick. Waiting on the remodel isn't working anymore. Possibly go nuts and go buy pain and start painting so that Todd is forced to finish properly. ("I was only trying to help...")

-Conquer at least two out of four of the remaining food cupboards mocking me.

-BUY A WORLD MAP, UGH!

-Put a shitload of photographs away that my mom meanly thrust upon me in a recent visit. I'll probably burn them. I am *still* in the awkward phase. Is that fair?

-Sweep laundry room.

-Sweep back porch.

-Try again on the bins for the porch.

-Dust master bedroom/bathroom.


FOR YOU, ON THIS FINE FRIDAY:

-No posting about your goddamn strawberries you heartless bitches!

-Extra laundry.

-Extra dishes.

-Empty all wastebaskets, including main garbage, and fill the little ones with bleach and hot water, set them in the bath tub, soak, rinse, re-line later. This shit feels good in your mind, trust me.

-Wipe down five appliances, as well as you can. Bonus points for taking things out and getting down and dirty.

-Wipe cupboard faces with Kirkland wipes, in the kitchen as well as the bathroom(s).

-Dust tv/dvd/game system area, really well!

-While you have the rag in hand, dust that computer, over, under, in between.

-Dust/wipe lamps/light fixtures.

-Clear and wipe dining room table.

BETHANY CHALLENGE:

-Mr. Magic one major wall/nook until it gleams.

There. That ought to keep your hands out of those strawberries. Can't wait to hear...

8 comments:

  1. Strawberries!
    Strawberries!
    Strawberries!

    They're all gone...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ok..
    I did get the fronts of all cabinets washed and fridge too.
    Managed to be disgusted with ALL soap dispensers in the house and cleaned all of them. Oh what a sudsy mess we had!

    Vaccumed everywhere, cleaned master bedrooms...
    Kids cleaned their own rooms.
    And Noah got an extra chore.. I'm sending you a photo Cheyenne, because it was just for you. :-D

    Rocks got swept back into their rightful home/area outside.

    uhhhhh, I think I did other things, but I'm too tired to make more words.

    Happy it's the weekend.
    Amy L.
    Depoe Bay

    ReplyDelete
  3. sheesh. Today was a bust.

    sad little list:
    -rotated laundry a couple of times
    -polished the front of the stainless steel fridge (ugh) for freaking ever
    -cleaned off 1/2 my desk
    -swept the kitchen
    -finished the memorial center paperwork with Mom's help
    -fed kids
    -ran one errand

    But most of the day I sedated my brain on the computer. :(

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ate a shitload of strawberries.
    Just Kidding.
    Today was totally devoted to eating all the fresh peas.
    LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  5. um, i ate blueberries today.

    and my mom cleaned my kitchen. does that count?

    i'm moving, fuck cleaning!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sam-"For freaking ever" made me laugh. Don't you love the stainless steel appliances? I scrub our microwave until my fingers bleed and I start speaking in tongues.

    Your list is not sad in quality, just in reality. I'm so proud of you for finishing those papers. Now, out of mind. (As if.) Which half of your desk did you clean? You're such a libra. Oh, and the moon. You did great.

    Amy-That you can speak with six children, let alone *have* soap, let alone *clean* the soap, well, I love you. And I love Noah. I love you saying you can't make more words because it suggests that you might be part of the lowly human race like us. (I just recently joined.) And fyi: They ain't no breaks on weekends sista. This business got started because of manic cleaning Saturdays, so watch out and get Noah ready!

    Karinda-I can forgive a little evil since you're pregnant and always mowing some lawn or replacing an engine or something. Anything you do at this stage wins my respect. <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yesterday (aka Friday) I had a friend over for coffee and lunch whereby the only cleaning to be done was wiping our mouths of the healthy BLT I made. (Yes healthy! on wholemeal rolls and english bacon is NOT fatty like American stuff).
    But before she arrived in my mad panic of ''OMG She won't stay friends with me if she sees this!!'' I:
    -quickly did a magic sweep through my kitchen, making every surface shine like gold.
    -Vaccumed, because even in the midst of company Mr.Dyson and I have to have ''our time''
    -folded laundry and put it out of sight in my bedroom in hopes of somehow magically mustering the energy to put it away later....I'll get back to you on that
    -Mopped dining room floor
    -Took out garbage
    -bleached the bathtub, toilets and kitchen sink
    She and I are still friends, for by the time she arrived I had actually got it all done and was sitting down reading - you know to make it look like the house had been like that all morning. *flex* xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mesina-You're making me incontinent. I'm just gonna say it. I love "magic sweep." And while I still love it, I'm wondering if I should be concerned about "our time" with Mr Dyson. Are there some attachments we should know about? I laughed so hard that you bleached bathtub, because she might say, mid-healthful bite, "Pardon me Mes, may I take a bath?" Ha ha ha! And of course, had I tried that reading trick? I'd be dripping in sweat, totally busted.

    But great job, I just have to say that kitchens, like all things, ought to shine like silver, not gold. Gold is inferior. Okay, love you.

    PS- Did you get that laundry put away? Hmmmmmm?

    ReplyDelete