Monday, July 27, 2009
Melting on a Monday,
Okay Mesina, you've got the floor.
We're hot and bitter.
It's up to you to inspire us out of our heat-induced sloth, and do something.
No pressure, maybe a duet with your Dyson...
WHAT I HAVE MANAGED TO DO:
-Make chore lists.
-Put clothes away.
-Hang more clothes.
-And more clothes.
-Paint the kids' nails before we meet some friends.
-Round up kidstuff (meant to be one word) and set in the lair.
-Shower (tepid, half-caff, no foam, extra lather).
-Fix Todd's insane and habitual manner of putting the pop amongst the Kirkland wipes on top of the refrigerator which is wrong for every reason mentioned. Nothing goes on my refrigerator.
-Wipe down toilets.
-Has the statute of limitations on my promise to complete the school shelf expired?
-Get rid of outgrown kids' shoes.
-Hire a drill sergeant to oversee the kids' chores. When Todd was working they would wake up and do them, without being asked. But Todd is softer about these things and my kids have become slack. Dammit.
-Clean back vanity.
-Clean all window sills.
ANYONE INTERESTED IN THESE?
-Collect every dish in the house and wash it, even if by hand. Wipe down your counter, fixtures, every surface, sweep, Swiffer, rejoice.
-Time to triumph over the laundry. These are clothes people, you can't them win. By the way, are any of you sneaking your laundry into mine, or are our clothes cloning themselves?
-Stop to get cool.
-Chug the H20.
-Scream meanly at your kids to put their shit in their room(s) because it's making you hotter.
-Seriously, cob web check!
-Sweep your entry stoop/porch.
-Clean your range hood.
-Check window sills/ledges.
Frankly if Mesina were worth her weight in Dysons, she'd come do it for us, enthrall us with her humour, and then live with me.
On your marks, get set, sweat!