Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Tantrum for Tuesday

Seriously, I never get sick. Maybe once a year. And when it happens my reaction ranges from incredulous to furious as I discover my physical weakness, incessant sweating, bottomless pit of exhaustion, and the various conspiracies of clutter and smudgery taking place across the house, as I, typically indefatigable, move mere inches per mile to manage it all.

Yesterday I was stricken with something I was sure was Swine Flu until the thought of that became so disgusting I settled on sore throat with a side of fever, and a side of body aches. As I listed in comments, I did manage to keep up a facade, should some ill-fated dropper-inner appear. I say ill-fated because, while the house may have played the part, I looked like a ghoul who eats children and would have had no choice but to do away with anyone opting to stop by.

I'd like to add I wiped down the kitchen windows. Probably in hopes that my reflection was distorted, but it wasn't, hence the broken glass.

This morning I thanked whomever-it-is-we-thank to have done the following:

-Made the beds.

-Wiped down the kitchen.

-Showered (truly, against all odds, queue Chariots of Fire music).



-Dressed for a morning appointment.

Upon my return, I hope to:

-Rip off my clothes, especially my bra, and use the last of my muscle to pull on some yoga pants and something that resembles a shirt.

-Eat, so I can take Tylenol.

-Fold three loads laundry.

-Sweep bathrooms.

-Sweep laundry room.

-Wipe down everything from bedroom to couch. Flop. Stay. Beg for things. Sleep.


-Basics. DO NOT let me down, since I am physically incapable of coming over there.

-Clean your dining room area and table. Clean underneath table, clean table, dust. Even if you don't eat there every night (or ever, ahem, just sayin).

-Wash inside windows, including sliding glass doors, which will thoroughly resent you if you don't do them the courtesy of washing the outsides as well.

-Give bathroom(s) a quick wipe down.

-Empty wastebaskets (see what you can't toss in at the last second), main garbage.

-Run your vacuum, even if you don't have a dreamy Dyson, a ghetto G & E will suffice.

-That's all. Rest up, because when I'm in fighting form again, you're all gonna pay!


  1. Oh god!!! I'm SO sorry. I should never have let you come into my house with those sick kidlets.

    I'm sitting here at work with a sore throat, throbbing head and just wondering what I did to deserve this.

  2. Jennifer-I'm sure! You're apologizing to moi on your birthday? DENIED! You did not get us sick, and I'm still holding out the hope that it's allergies so I can convince myself I'm not this tired, and keep cleaning. I cannot believe you're spending tu cumpleanos with a sore throat finishing that report. That so totally sucks. :(

    Perhaps I will stop cleaning and camp out on the couch and watch CNN all night in your honour. (happy birthday?)

  3. Happy Birthday Jennifer!!! *blows a celebratory horn*

    Hope you are all feeling better! Today I am sorting through the office since we have decided to redesignate where the office is and move it all. Omg, we are nuts BUT it will be soooo much better once we take over what is currently our dining room. We have two places where a table and chairs can go, and currently two sets of tables and chairs (umm why?) so we're ditching the old one and moving the new into the space in the kitchen and making our lovely dining room a second sitting area come office space. This office is just too darn hot and the plus side is we have a guest bedroom for people when they come to stay. (ie, Maurice's awesomesauce parents)
    So guess where muggins (aka ME) is today?!?! In the hot office sorting through a mountain of crapola. Wow....what the hell?! xx