Thursday, July 23, 2009

Um, What Day is it?

My cell phone alarm only works intermittently, which I love, and yesterday it failed me huge. I was due at a friend's at 10 o'clock, but woke up at 9:30, at which point I jumped up, started coffee, realized that Todd did not have the kids do their chores the day before so my house was crawling with scabies, meaning I had to a) scour like my life depended on it while the coffee brewed, and b) turn into Kate Gosselin, yelling at Todd and Quinn for failing our routine, and for sending precious cargo in the mail without sealing it. Towards the end of my rant, when my peacock feathers were all fanned out, I realized that last night at Jennifer's, when I felt my fingernail snag the elastic band of my underwear, that it had actually just completely torn the entire underwear off and I was yelling in the kitchen wearing an elastic band. Awesome. I did manage to clean the entire kitchen in nine minutes, including mop the floor, start laundry, make beds, clear counter top, and throw the band away. Oh, and I Windexed the insides and outsides of my car. OMG you must try it!

I then sped to my friend's, two hours late, tore into our project like a lion tearing the flesh off a wildebeest on the savanna. We got most of it done, I promised to return, and then I collected my children and headed to track, where my amazing daughter, who ribboned in every event, even ones she'd never tried, ran a heart-stoppingly, fiercely competitive 200m race against every nine year old in Salem, and despite new tennis shoes, fatigue from six prior heats, and feeling intimidated being the shortest runner (I know, my kid? The runt? Go figure), she blasted in front of her competitors, even the long-legged one who paced himself and tried to pass her, and my baby took first place in the most hotly contested heat of the night. Yeah. What does this have to do with cleaning? I dunno. She's cleaning up Salem's track and field program for sure. Though, we did have to have a talk about how placing fifth in a heat with 65 kids, in an even she's never done (long jump) is not a failure. I am so proud of her. I did opt out of the movie afterward, as expected, and am due today in Monmouth at 10am to clean the aforementioned "disgusting" apartment. Tonight I was supposed to see a friend so we'll see.

I've got some laundry sneering, a tub that needs tough love, the school shelf ready to declare victory, and the kids' room pleading to be finished. And I am in my underwear. I brilliantly expanded Quinn's chore list as a consequence for ignoring his duties the day before, so the house is holding its own this week.


-Um, Windex the inside and outside of the windows of your car. Hit a car wash afterward and scoop up trash into a bag, wipe down the dash, and you will be a new woman.

-Never let your guard down with the laundry and dishes. As always I implore those with big kids to help unload/load/whatever they can do to make your process easier.

-Has everyone switched to white hangers? They're $1.00, and are so pleasing to the eye.

-Vacuum all carpeted areas.

-Give your bathroom(s) a serious three-minute make-over.

-Strip/make beds.

-Go through your movies/games and try to add more than five things to your garage sale/swap/donation pile.

-Feel free to request the mama/kiddo-friendly cleaning cd I recently compiled for a friend.

Let me know how this goes. Remember we're only aiming to avoid the day that the entire house is a shit hole and completely insurmountable. One step at a time. It doesn't take any longer to pick up errant strand of Ramen off the carpet than it does to ignore it, really. As you wait for the Brita to fill up, wipe something. As you use the bathroom, use a wipe to dust the baseboards (no I'm not kidding). While something is printing, wipe down your desk, throw something away, etc. While waiting for your much-deserved rice pack in the microwave, rotate laundry, make a list, wipe off your fixtures and appliances so they shine. If you did every one of those things, you will have spent no more time than if you didn't. Pretty genius right?

Good luck. :)


  1. sorry i have been so lacking in the comment dept. lately. i just haven't done anything noteworthy, nor have i even made a list (gasp!). today i feel challenged to make a list and do the 3-minute bathroom make over. you are so right about how doing a few simple things really doesn't take that much time. love the idea for wiping the baseboards before wiping,um, other things in the bathroom ;)

  2. Oh Haiiiii! Ja, it's me!
    ok so today I've done a bit, mostly making sure the house doesn't tip over to the dark side of the force (quite a feat!). So in that effort and in true Skywalker Style I:
    ☻ Cleaned up the kitchen, wiped counters and generally made sure it was not infestation heaven.
    ☻ vaccumed all of the upstairs, including the staircase and Mr Dyson and I made handy work of the downstairs before I moved onto the next task of:
    ☻ Mopping the floors! I got most of it done, but with a toddler around the ideal time to do this job is either a)when she's in bed or b)very early in the morning when she's not up. Being that I can't beat her to getting up it's option a... however I couldnt stand the sight of the floors any longer so I chanced it. No bums fell to the floor, so it worked out ok.
    ☻ Did MORE laundry...and wondered if I should look up the affects of breathing in laundry fumes. Dear God, I do so much laundry that I have items I swear I just washed and folded which now need rewashing. It's sick and I'm losing my mind
    ☻ Did my grocery shopping online. *flex*
    ☻ Made time to relax since I didn't sleep well. This has to now be part of my daily routine in mind of taking better care of myself to stay seizure free.
    And that's about it! About to make dinner when Maurice gets home and relax with a movie together tonight. xx

  3. Is it your height that makes you able to actually wash outdoor windows? Do you have a ladder? Step-stool? Do you not have plants barring you from getting near your windows? I am curious at the ease of which you mention washing windows from outside???

  4. Sunshine + temps above 50 degrees F. =OUTSIDE TIME! That said, I've worked a little on the ongoing laundry and dishes, hung a window treatment, bleached the bath toys, and then went outside to work on some ongoing landscaping. After about 1-1/2 hrs working on that I am now inside because too much sun is not my friend.

    Do not fret though, we'll be outside again before the day is over! Right now I need to research a new blade, air filter, and spark plug for my lawn mower. . .

  5. I totally slacked in the cleaning department today. Fortunately I did really well in the mommy department, so that makes up for it (at least for today) :D

  6. Okay I don't have time to respond to everyone right now but since Mesina is first, I just have to ask: Are those smiley faces Jamaican and is that why you said "Ja?" HA HA HA HA HA! OMG my ribs are breaking into tiny pieces. I must concoct a way to have you deported. More later...

  7. Gail-You had a horrible headache, you're exempt from guilt. Also, your house only needs three minutes. As for the baseboard idea, you have to make sure you complete all the trim, lest you have one arm's length section of clean baseboard, lol.

    Mesina-I'm torn between cheering you on as possibly the heavyweight champion of Moxieland, and telling you lie your arse down and rest! If Mr. Dyson is so wonderful, couldn't he do a few rooms by himself? You amaze me. Take care of yourself! And bravo, as always.

    Karinda-Yes my height enables me to access most windows, while my weight prohibits me from using most stools, lol. Flowers I can maneuver around, super thick hedges, I have to get creative. The thing I encounter more frequently than bushy barriers is condensation in between the panes of glass or hard water that doesn't come off. That will send you to the nut house, where I'll be waiting. Do you have tricky windows?

    Dawna-D & L, bleach, and any woman who can blithely reference the need for blades, air filters, and spark plugs gets an A+ from me!

    Susannah-Mommy trumps all.

  8. C-
    I always think I'm not getting my windows all the way clean cuz I only do inside. Then I think if I go outside to finish and can only reach halfway up, there is no point. It's like if you can't do it right.... ...ya know?

    Also, I think I could fight my way through plants, but bugs, no. The amount of spiders that would be on me after a really good window washing leaves me with a sense of dread.

  9. The Jamaican smiley faces are just for you Chey! Just to be different! ☻ aren't they sweet?!

    I was in a funny mood yesterday and so posted Ja..since that is Yes in Dutch (and a few other languages I think!) However it does fit in with the Jamaican thing doesn't it?! Ja! oh Ja! LOL