Thursday, July 23, 2009
Um, What Day is it?
My cell phone alarm only works intermittently, which I love, and yesterday it failed me huge. I was due at a friend's at 10 o'clock, but woke up at 9:30, at which point I jumped up, started coffee, realized that Todd did not have the kids do their chores the day before so my house was crawling with scabies, meaning I had to a) scour like my life depended on it while the coffee brewed, and b) turn into Kate Gosselin, yelling at Todd and Quinn for failing our routine, and for sending precious cargo in the mail without sealing it. Towards the end of my rant, when my peacock feathers were all fanned out, I realized that last night at Jennifer's, when I felt my fingernail snag the elastic band of my underwear, that it had actually just completely torn the entire underwear off and I was yelling in the kitchen wearing an elastic band. Awesome. I did manage to clean the entire kitchen in nine minutes, including mop the floor, start laundry, make beds, clear counter top, and throw the band away. Oh, and I Windexed the insides and outsides of my car. OMG you must try it!
I then sped to my friend's, two hours late, tore into our project like a lion tearing the flesh off a wildebeest on the savanna. We got most of it done, I promised to return, and then I collected my children and headed to track, where my amazing daughter, who ribboned in every event, even ones she'd never tried, ran a heart-stoppingly, fiercely competitive 200m race against every nine year old in Salem, and despite new tennis shoes, fatigue from six prior heats, and feeling intimidated being the shortest runner (I know, my kid? The runt? Go figure), she blasted in front of her competitors, even the long-legged one who paced himself and tried to pass her, and my baby took first place in the most hotly contested heat of the night. Yeah. What does this have to do with cleaning? I dunno. She's cleaning up Salem's track and field program for sure. Though, we did have to have a talk about how placing fifth in a heat with 65 kids, in an even she's never done (long jump) is not a failure. I am so proud of her. I did opt out of the movie afterward, as expected, and am due today in Monmouth at 10am to clean the aforementioned "disgusting" apartment. Tonight I was supposed to see a friend so we'll see.
I've got some laundry sneering, a tub that needs tough love, the school shelf ready to declare victory, and the kids' room pleading to be finished. And I am in my underwear. I brilliantly expanded Quinn's chore list as a consequence for ignoring his duties the day before, so the house is holding its own this week.
HOW LIKELY ARE YOU TO DO THESE THINGS?:
-Um, Windex the inside and outside of the windows of your car. Hit a car wash afterward and scoop up trash into a bag, wipe down the dash, and you will be a new woman.
-Never let your guard down with the laundry and dishes. As always I implore those with big kids to help unload/load/whatever they can do to make your process easier.
-Has everyone switched to white hangers? They're $1.00, and are so pleasing to the eye.
-Vacuum all carpeted areas.
-Give your bathroom(s) a serious three-minute make-over.
-Go through your movies/games and try to add more than five things to your garage sale/swap/donation pile.
-Feel free to request the mama/kiddo-friendly cleaning cd I recently compiled for a friend.
Let me know how this goes. Remember we're only aiming to avoid the day that the entire house is a shit hole and completely insurmountable. One step at a time. It doesn't take any longer to pick up errant strand of Ramen off the carpet than it does to ignore it, really. As you wait for the Brita to fill up, wipe something. As you use the bathroom, use a wipe to dust the baseboards (no I'm not kidding). While something is printing, wipe down your desk, throw something away, etc. While waiting for your much-deserved rice pack in the microwave, rotate laundry, make a list, wipe off your fixtures and appliances so they shine. If you did every one of those things, you will have spent no more time than if you didn't. Pretty genius right?
Good luck. :)