Friday, August 7, 2009

Finish Line Friday

Okay bitches, let's totally bust it out today, since I work my ass off every Saturday and you all pretend not to know me.

Yesterday I cleaned in the wee hours, folding and refolding Mesina's reappearing laundry, sweeping, making my eighth consecutive "exception" coffee, rearranging Tupperware (what is wrong with that shit?), wiping, glaring at the minnows in hopes they will die and we can put the fish tank away and I can stop thinking the sink is dripping. I put more clothes away, shook out mats, dusted, began a new bookshelf, replaced light bulbs above my vanity only to realize the whole strip is like burned out, yea for the ghetto! I made compilations, folded bedding, straightened everything I could get my hands on, made beds, mourned and cursed my phone and was sure I'd die by the end of the day without it. Remember when you knew all your friends' numbers? I can call Borders and Karen, and that's it, lol.

Today I am going to:

-Wield a damp cloth and Karinda can come pull a knife on me. I'd even let her cut me if it would get that baby out!

-Sweep the porch.

-Do the one load of laundry.

-Check all windows/mirrors.

-Have Quinn vacuum.

-Dust blinds (SCREAM!)


-Salivate over my new Pink album, soon to arrive...right Raven???

-Cure my schizophrenic Post-it notes invading my desk.

-Mail Dyan's music.

-Clean refrigerator.

-Hang a new map.



-Select three of my things.



-Organize your books. (Toss some?)

-Straighten living room.

-Rake your kids' stuff away ... far away.

-Fold blankets.

-Make sure all dishes are in the sink. Seriously.

-Organize your bills, or your "stack," (wink Gail).

-Wipe each bathroom down with three Kirkland wipes.


Show me what you're made of, and it better not be sugar and spice, it had better be Windex and bleach!


  1. My laundry made it to your house?! Damnit that shit is everywhere!! It doesn't matter what I do, it breeds, it mocks me and during the night it starts making weird fucking noises freaking me out.



    But just before I was about to give up and wave a white flag at it, I must say I did, for like 5 seconds, see the bottom of the laundry basket. Like, it's not a myth. It's real. And just as soon as I woke up from passing out, some ass came in and put more in the basket.


    So now there's a sign on my front door saying ''Nudists live here. Leave your goddamn clothes outside and wipe your feet please'' And in your honor Chey I wrote it with a Sharpie. ♥

    Now I'm buck naked sporting my new nudist lifestyle making sure the rest of the house is suitable for our impending company tomorrow. There will be laughter, and stroopwafels, and lots of requests for ''can we please wear clothing now please?''...which I will totally pretend I can't hear. The kitchen is dressed up in it's formal attire with twinkling on the countertops, the bathrooms would proudly welcome the Obamas over and every room in this house will be fit for company. xxx

  2. from your list i choose: one load of laundry, mail (books to sam), and read. make no mistake, it's not a stack, it's a pile, and it's not mine :) the bathroom wipe down and bills do pose a real challenge, i'll see what i can do.

  3. my grandma should be here in roughly 4 hours and i am FREAKING OUT. she has the cleanest house i have ever seen in my life. my place isn't disgusting by any means but she acts like i live in a shit hole.

    sooo, i HAVE to do the following:
    vacuum and clean every fucking stain on this damn carpet
    sweep & mop
    bleach the shit out of my bathroom, probably get a new toilet seat or five
    clean my bedroom. sweet jesus.
    eat something, but probably not
    wipe down the walls
    wash windows
    dig a hole big enough to fit a body in
    and then sleep for a million years

  4. Mesina-I sort of thought your posts were so hilarious because of the British thing, but we speak so often I've realized the novelty has worn off, you're just a bit nuts. I heart nuts. Ew. Good job on seeing the whites of the eyes of your basket. The nekkid thing freaks me out, what with naughty bits toughing everything but you know those Dutch!

    Gail-I want to say, "You have some nerve picking reading!" But you're the one person who can afford to read. I also loved "I'll see what I can do," rebellion suits you. <3

    Debe-Five toilet seats warrants an intervention. Most of what you said warrants an intervention. When you get here, I'm intervening.