Sunday, August 16, 2009

Monday Monday, Can't Trust That Day

I woke up feeling 15% refreshed from treating my body like some sort of heavy bag this weekend, at the expense of anything resembling sleep.

There's a definite momentum with laundry right now, which I'm hoping will spread to the dishes. Each day I am thrilled to see how much farther beyond the call of duty you all go. It helps to share, brag, vent, and exaggerate within a group.

Today we have our midday park day which serves to prompt a mad dash towards cleaning victory early on and then a twelve hour nap after we go eat afterward. Then I wake up pissed that the house has gotten into the dust again and I yell until I am invited to go find someone else with whom to live. Somehow I evoke enough mercy to allowed to stay and watch Jon & Kate Plus Eight, it's one of our traditions. My kids cried when they announced their divorce. Also, there is a strict ban on any J&K+8 bashing on this site. Seriously I will go ballistic. We also watch 18 and Counting, the Duggars, but you can make fun of them.

Today I am happy to offer some shortcuts to offset my egregious verbosity and abuse of power on this blog.

Consider the following:

-Lint rollers rock! You've heard me mention them but it's worth repeating. They can't exactly replace vacuuming, but you can get some surfaces super clean.

-For those of you who use kid wipes (don't we all?), use one once a day to wipe down the toilet(s) in between scouring.

-Be gone, a lot.

-Organize your computer area as you're waiting for things to load/print/fb friends to reply...

-Always be in your underwear at home. I swear to (insert preferred presence) it is a catalyst to cleaning.

-Clean as you go, cooking, bathing, shopping (consolidate, toss recycling).

-Text yourselves reminders to your email to save yourself those times when lack of paper leads to forgotten ideas.

-Get rid of 20 things everyday, a new "basic," I'm not kidding.

-Buy a tool belt and...psych.

-The aforementioned P!NK Fun House album. Do it!

-Keep travel size Stain Stick in your car along with Febreze, a lint roller (duh), anti bacterial gel, and Wet Wipes.

-Only sleep from 3am to 6am.

-Keep one visible surface clear as therapy for your eyes.

-No more than five things on your refrigerator.

-Confess dreaded projects here so as to motivate/shame you. :)

Okay so read through that, tell me what helped, or to go to hell, and know that I will be sweeping, dusting, wiping, whining, and behave just enough to watch my show. I may also scorn some unruly caddies and hit some window and mirrors, and, sigh, let go of some sentimental clutter.

Happy Monday Ladies, feel free to add "have a baby" to your to-do list today!

UPDATE! I finished the school shelf before my kids turned 18!


Interim nightmare:

Finally, god:


  1. I need...sleep...zzzzzzzzzz

    ok! so today I kicked some ass around the house, picking up and cleaning virtually anything in my waking path.

    I cannot say that today I did all this with much energy, since I am seriously lacking in the energy department. But I did at least get some things done, which, ya know, sorta made me feel less of a lazy ass. :D

    ☺ Laundry... my whole nudist thing didn't work out. Basically, they complained about me being nude, and refused to actually get nude themselves. Something about me being a sicko? dunno...wasn't listening
    ☺ Kitchen. Which still looks a bit...ermm... yeah. But it is at least clean. Just not organised. Tomorrow!!
    ☺ Mr. Dyson and I had a run around the house. He missed me :)
    ☺ I looked in my bedroom and kept my eyes open long enough to make the bed. The rest, tomorrow will finish.
    ☺ A general whoosh around the livingroom, which wasn't really that bad actually but better now anyway.

    Tomorrow I finish up some more tedious tasks like washing the windows and scrubbing floors. For now, I'm going to lay down on the couch and sleep. Sleeeeeeeeep. zzzzzzzzzz

  2. Mesina-I don't care if you poured honey all over your house, I'm just glad you're back. (Okay yes I do yes I do, OMG find a happy place, find a happy place *sucks thumb*.)

    Moving on...

    That's a hell of a lot fir no energy. Sorry the nudist plot was an epic fail. I love that you alternate between British and American spelling you complete and utter fraud. Get your ass back here, your accent is slipping too. :)

    I'm toaly stealing "whoosh" as a measurement of achievement cleaning-wise. It makes so much sense. You rock my world.

    Call me, I want to hear all your Dutchy stories!

    Love love love.

  3. totally* (wtf is wrong with me?)

  4. Saw the line about confessing dreaded projects to motivate oneself and thought I would list having a baby. Then I saw your last line, and realized that luckily you had already included it for me.

    I wonder if Dawna, Katie, Mesina, Amy, etc. are gonna be upset that the list is going to begin including having a baby while washing windows or some such thing?

    They will be like Dammit, I thought all this daily scrubbing and bleach was hard enough and NOW I have to have a baby?!?!?


  5. i looooooooves me some jon & kate + 8 but the duggars are full of crazy that i cannot tolerate. a vagina is not a clown car, just sayin'.

    sooo, today i am going to do a million loads of laundry, bleach the shit out of the bathrooms and clean my room. that's it. i suck.

  6. Karinda-OMG we may as well assign having a baby to everyone. Someone has to have that freaking kid!

    Debe-Yeah, um, I huffed and I puffed and I laughed the fucking house down and so did my ultra-sheltered kids. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! After I am resuscitated, I'm going to tell you that you're also going to get in some trouble with me later...

    Btw, there's a major announcement pending, I'm trembling with excitement, and even more importantly, I finished the school shelf, no thanks to any of you, all while knocking up my dearest friend (more later). There is nothing like organized books, uniformity, and having my dining room table back.

    Also, all the laundry is done. Again. Wtf?

    OMG I just realized (my friend) is going to have her baby before Karinda, and I only just knocked her up like three days ago.

  7. Major announcement??? I'm all a twitter--enough to come out of lurkdom. My grading hell ended at 2 a.m. last night, and I'm ready to leave the land of the slovenly behind. Anyone want to come help me shovel out this hovel? I haven't posted in forever b/c I'm just so sick at myself. My goal for my break is to seriously declutter. DH thinks that clutter is NOT our problem, but I swear that if we owned less stuff, we would be cleaner. Period. If you see smoke, don't worry, it's just me lighting fire to my house :P

  8. I liked the baby wipes idea; but I sooooo hate house work. I'm becoming a follower to see if I can get motivated!

    dropping by to say hi from SITS; hope you'll do the same.

  9. I'll have a baby! But I have to get knocked up first. :(

    A whole lot of NOTHING today, as we spent the ENTIRE DAY getting our friend from WA, and I spent the entire ride home being poked, kicked, and otherwise bugged by the toddler (who "only" wanted to nurse about 12 times in 3 1/2 hours... she got two). I succeeded in not strangling said toddler, btw.

    Time to enjoy the fruits of my labors with the crock pot!

  10. Bethany-I'm proud to announce that our beloved Moxling Mesina is growing a junior Moxling inside, thanks to me and my hott profile picture she lurves. This will be her fourth splendidly beautiful baby, and all I can say is a) the world needs more Mesinas in a major way, and b) sorry to steal your thunder Mes, but your ass is sleeping, hee hee.

    Grading papers with a toddler trumps cleaning, and sanity, you're totally off the hook, though I know that getting back on the hook can look utterly insurmountable. I'd be happy to help but I saw Renae today and she said she was due en su casa to clean. De-cluttering is the way to go because then you're 97 pieces of unnecessary shit closer to the surfaces that need cleaning. Tell him to shut up. :)

    Eva-Welcome! Thanks for posting, I will do my best to motivate you. I think you will find that posting whatever you do is really rewarding. I'm glad you like the baby wipe idea, I have others but I was literally flat lining the night I posted that so my suggestions were lame. Stay tuned.

    Katie-Everyone else is getting knocked up, why not you? Then you can nurse 24 times en route from Portland. :) If you talk about this chili again, you'll be blocked from the blog, lol. Unless it has meat in it. Anyway, you did a lot the other day, it was a nice day for a trip.

    I was gone most of the day but managed to keep things in order. Mostly putting away errant crap that relocates when I'm not looking.

    As always, really proud of you guys. You'll be pregnant within days (or in Karinda's case, months [love you!]) and I am so not letting you off easy. :)

  11. Today was my first day back at work and they had completely moved offices around during the 8 weeks I was gone. Soooooooo - I got to clean and declutter for 7 hours at work :)

    And if you're handing out pregnancies, I'll take one please. (As long as I don't have to deal with these shitty food sensitivities or partner leaving again, anyway.)

    P.S. - the school shelf looks great :)

  12. Shelf looks awesome!!!

    Today I:

    ~bleached kitchen sink
    ~washed sheets, made bed
    ~vacuumed bedroom
    ~emptied dishwasher
    ~did another load of dishes
    ~1 load of laundry
    ~forgot to have a baby (I know, no surprise!)

  13. Of course the chili had meat!

    And that's the last I'll say about it. :)

    Unless you want to come over and have a heart attack at my house and eat some?