Saturday, August 1, 2009

Seriously Saturday

Yesterday was fraught with calamity and yet I still went to bed (in theory) with a clean house. I just didn't clean the whole city as expected.

But I've slacked long enough and I'm ready to get ferocious about my Saturdays again. Alas, I do owe a dear friend some seriously grueling and despised (even by me) sorting, which I can say because she's awesome and doesn't read this blog. So, I will have to be a speed demon, which ought to be easy considering I am always speedy and sometimes demonic.

Here is my list today:

I have long given up on recruiting you guys into my sickness, but you do such a wonderful job devising your own strategies and successes I am always beaming with pride.

Not sure about the temp today but I think we can ratchet things up a bit.

Some tips:

-Make every movement count. I swear to god I even wipe down the counters while the Brita is filling up. Pick up bit and pieces as you walk across the carpet, straighten pictures on the wall, grab wayward hairbands and other assorted shit off countertops as you walk by. Always rotate laundry, put those magazines in an orderly stack. There are so many things you can do in one second that are pleasing to the eye.

-Set your timers for different areas.



-Basically have a damp cloth at all times.

-Never let something that boils over stay on the stovetop for longer than five seconds or you will want to slit your wrists later.

-Reward kids with ANYTHING to pick up coats (if anyone is wearing a coat right now you belong in the psych ward), toys, dishes, etc. They may balk but it teaches them good habits I swear.

-Decide to do your sitting tasks (ie-folding) first or last because ladies, doing it in the middle will ruin your life.

-Use a kid wipe to wipe down your toilets in between proper beatings.

-Clean in your underwear.

-Pull your hair back.

-Invite someone over, but not to take a bath, that is just so very wrong.

With this in mind, try the following:

-Duh. Do I have to say it?

-Clean out refrigerator/freezer if you ignored me earlier in the week.

-Pick one area to wipe until it's raw and crying. Or you are.

-Remove five items of clutter.

-Sweep/Swiffer/vacuum floors.

-Strip, re-make beds and make sure your room is a sanctuary rather than a landfill.

-Pray for Jennifer, a treasured Moxling, whose grandpa had a heart attack and is experiencing difficulty in the family.

Okaaaaaaaaaaay? I didn't ask you to run, you guys can do this and more. Regale me asap!


  1. Yesterday not only did I mow the lawn, but I trimmed about 1/3 of my plants and set and moved sprinklers approx. 5 times. Not one contraction. I swear I am going to visit the neighbors trampoline very soon. LOL
    ~We also wiped down 1/2 of our fridge yesterday.

    Today so far I've started coffee
    ...and am pretending for C's sake that it's not what I do every day and am posting it only because it's Saturday.

    Plans for the day include:
    ~Visiting a friend
    ~Attacking the garden (trimming, picking, pruning)
    ~Vacuuming other 1/2 of house
    ~Ignore bathrooms as they are my nemesis and possibly my neighbor will feel sorry for me because I am at the end of my pregnancy and send her cleaning lady over to do my bathrooms once more before baby falls out???
    ~Do Dishes from yesterday
    ~Wash, Dry, Fold remainder of Laundry (2-3 loads)

  2. Haven't done a dang bit of cleaning yet, but I did go to Costco on this fine Saturday, Aug 1st. WTF was I thinking? Ugh.

    But I survived and rewarded myself by buying a whole pizza so I don't have to cook later.

    Anyhow... your picture at the top of this post reminded me. The Kirkland wipes are now in soft-sided, baby-wipe-like dispensers. How long before someone grabs the disinfectant wipes and cleans up the baby? OMG. What were they thinking???

  3. Karinda-
    A) I cannot comprehend wiping down halves of refrigerators. PLEASE fix this immediately, olest I sneak in and finish the job.
    B) You needn't hide your coffee from me lady, chug-a-lug lady!
    C) Why does everyone keep saying your baby is gonna fall out? Is there something wrong with...well, nevermind, I'm sure that nameless baby will be a cutie!

    Good work!

  4. Haha Chey, I was thinking the exact same thing about Karinda's half clean fridge!

    I don't know where my comment from this morning went, but I'm back to update. This moxie momma got a few things done today, but it was hardly manic for me.

    Today I:

    -cleaned up a gallon of paint that fell off a shelf in the garage and spilled. . .fuck sake!

    -steam cleaned my stair case because my coffee got spilled all over them. . .(did I mention "fuck sake"?!)

    -folded and put away the kids laundry

    -ran errands

    And that about covers it. Weak, I know, but something is ALWAYS better than nothing!

  5. Sam-Perhaps if some people had the courtesy not to bring their U-Haul when dropping something off, you wouldn't have had to go today. Emily just told me about the shitty new Kirkland packages. I'm not surprised, seeing how it's the end of the world.

    Dawna-Why is everything spilling? But awesome job!

    I completed my list and then went to a friend's to help her clean. Got home around 2am. She is one of two convalescing friends I'm helping. It was really fun once the temperature dropped 100 degrees.

  6. Saturday saw me working my bum to oblivion and chatting for hours endlessly with my favorite girl. Yes you Chey, I loved our chats, so much better than cleaning anyday!!

    Thanks for that, you really got me giggling and made my day. *HUGS*