Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Time for Tuesday
Now that I'm 32 I feel entitled to really boss all you young'ns around. For those of you tempted to point out that you're 37, 41, 88, save it. I'm old and haggard in that way in which you must obey your elder.
Yesterday was splendid in that I awoke to a house full of balloons and streamers and gifts my Reilly set up after I was asleep, just as I always do for them. My house sparkled (it wasn't meteors, it was my kitchen), and the kids made sure it stayed that way.
Today I'll be frying the following fish:
-Breakfast--I broke up with avocados. It only takes one bad one.
-Do the six dishes in the sink.
-Scrub the old decrepit bathroom wall that prohibits me from having people over.
-Scour bay window.
-Wipe down all chairs.
-Go on a smudge rampage.
-Call a freaking sorceress to cast the spell of perpetual dust from my life.
-Go though at least 65 more blank disks so as to upload, categorize, or toss.
-Maybe paint my closet doors. They suck.
TUESDAY FOR YOUS DAY: (Yes I died of cheese poisoning typing that but wtf, you try conjuring up a new series of witty shit every morning at 2am so my New Yorkers won't email in protest. They're very...assertive.)
-Wipe down tables, stools, and chairs.
-Disinfect your doorknobs too. (Hello, Swine Flu.)
-Wipe out and bleach or Ajax all your sinks--ahhh.
-Start making a pile/bin of all your whites, to be bleached (or green version of bleached) this weekend.
-Thought you were getting off with no mention of laundry or dishes? It will never happen. Meteorize the shit out of everything, so we can sparkle in Morse Code.
Have fun! Pink is the new coffee! And coffee is the old coffee so have that too!