Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Well Well Wednesday
Greetings Moxlings. I hope this morning finds everyone motivated and perched in their French Maid uniforms desperate to clean. I will also settle for drinking 20 cups of coffee, staring at all the things you feel are amiss, cursing my name, and doing the bare minimum. But only if you're 72 weeks pregnant.
(Note to newbies: I respond to all the comment you leave each night, so check back because it's some funny shit and occasionally helpful too.)
Oh and Karen, I got distracted by being hilarious and forgot to answer you about hard water. I've had success with CLR, and there's some other stuff, whose name escapes me, but I just posted it in the last three days for Karinda. Bleach will not work.
This week is hella busy because my kids have cloned into 25 or 35 and they all need a ride to a camp, class, or some other shit that makes you feel like such a good mom when you register and then slightly suicidal come Monday morning. But, I have kept up, and even refrained from tearing down the flaccid balloons all over the place, per Reilly's sentimental need to keep them until they are shriveled up ball sacks on my floor. You know you have OCD when:
-Your heap of birthday gifts is pissing you off. (Rotten ingrate, I know.)
-Someone puts the bananas outside the fruit bowl, for no reason.
-When you carry two cell phones. Sigh.
-When you use a lint roller on your ottomans and bath mats even when they are clean.
-When you vacuum your Jeep at 2:35am.
-When you look in the mirror and see this mug.
TODAY I VOW TO ELUDE THE COMA OF YESTERDAY AND ACCOMPLISH THE FOLLOWING:
-Bleach kitchen floors.
-Wash all bedding.
-Cursory washing of all the windows in my house. (My house is comprised solely of windows, so this will only take eight hours.)
-Clean out refrigerator, maybe implement the Dewey Decimal System or something.
-Tell my family that putting a vase with roses atop a pile of rogue magazines doesn't piss me off any less.
-Make to-do lists for Quinn and Reilly.
-Attack paper debris.
-Eat more cake.
YOU ARE FREE TO SELECT FROM ABOVE OR TRY:
-I am convinced that the more strident you are about the dishes and laundry, the less daunting they will become. Or just buy everyone scrubs, one size fits all.
-Wipe down wooden window trim, and if that leads to a rendezvous with the windows and/or tracks, well, I would liken that to a double orgasm.
-Set your timers for a ten minute frenzy, picking up, tossing out, wiping, swiping, straightening (my favourite), etc.
-Don't you all want showroom cars like Dawna? Go do it!
-Clean and clear dining room tables.
-Eat cake. But not mine.
Pat yourselves on the backs.