Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Well Well Wednesday

Greetings Moxlings. I hope this morning finds everyone motivated and perched in their French Maid uniforms desperate to clean. I will also settle for drinking 20 cups of coffee, staring at all the things you feel are amiss, cursing my name, and doing the bare minimum. But only if you're 72 weeks pregnant.

(Note to newbies: I respond to all the comment you leave each night, so check back because it's some funny shit and occasionally helpful too.)

Oh and Karen, I got distracted by being hilarious and forgot to answer you about hard water. I've had success with CLR, and there's some other stuff, whose name escapes me, but I just posted it in the last three days for Karinda. Bleach will not work.

This week is hella busy because my kids have cloned into 25 or 35 and they all need a ride to a camp, class, or some other shit that makes you feel like such a good mom when you register and then slightly suicidal come Monday morning. But, I have kept up, and even refrained from tearing down the flaccid balloons all over the place, per Reilly's sentimental need to keep them until they are shriveled up ball sacks on my floor. You know you have OCD when:

-Your heap of birthday gifts is pissing you off. (Rotten ingrate, I know.)

-Someone puts the bananas outside the fruit bowl, for no reason.

-When you carry two cell phones. Sigh.

-When you use a lint roller on your ottomans and bath mats even when they are clean.

-When you vacuum your Jeep at 2:35am.

-When you look in the mirror and see this mug.


-Bleach kitchen floors.

-Wash all bedding.

-Cursory washing of all the windows in my house. (My house is comprised solely of windows, so this will only take eight hours.)

-Scrub appliances.

-Clean out refrigerator, maybe implement the Dewey Decimal System or something.

-Tell my family that putting a vase with roses atop a pile of rogue magazines doesn't piss me off any less.

-Make to-do lists for Quinn and Reilly.

-Attack paper debris.

-Eat more cake.


-I am convinced that the more strident you are about the dishes and laundry, the less daunting they will become. Or just buy everyone scrubs, one size fits all.

-Wipe down wooden window trim, and if that leads to a rendezvous with the windows and/or tracks, well, I would liken that to a double orgasm.

-Set your timers for a ten minute frenzy, picking up, tossing out, wiping, swiping, straightening (my favourite), etc.

-Don't you all want showroom cars like Dawna? Go do it!

-Clean and clear dining room tables.

-Eat cake. But not mine.

Pat yourselves on the backs.


  1. Mmmmm. . .coffee. . .Right now, that's my priority! ;-)

    Today we have a playdate but yesterday I did a couple loads of laundry, dishes, scrubbed the downstairs bathroom floor and then I went outside. I also worked a little bit on the kitchen counter situation,. . .but not enough.

    Outside I started to declutter the yard in preparation of mowing (no, I didn't get it mowed. :-( ) and picked up the myriad of limbs that were left after I pruned a rangy rhododenderon.

  2. Dawna-Are you part machine? From the angelic realm? Four kids, energy to burn, you work out, and do shit outside? Dang. Can I see some pics of your house so I can know if you are ever welcome at mine? You are absolutely amazing, you inspire me. I am still relishing the showroom van. <3

  3. Um no. It boils down to HAVING to stay on top of things just so I don't get overwhelmed. And as far as the outside stuff goes, I NEED to get outside. I am so ridiculously sensitive to the grey weather. . . (sigh)

    And yes, I CAN come to your house but you cannot come to mine! I get about one major thing accomplished each day to keep me sane and the rest is just maintenance.

    Here's one for ya. . . I damn near had a stroke when we all go in the car this morning for our playdate (first time we've been in the van since it was cleaned. . .) and it had been raining. So my darling little children tracked dirt and fir needles all over my beautiful clean van. *eye twitching*

  4. For some reason talking about cleaning windows and double orgasm in the same sentence just confuses me. . .
    Cleaned my car. Yes, the ugly pink chair is still in it. You never know when you will need an ugly pink captain's chair! And no fair talking about cake. Maybe I should make one tomorrow. I'll have a few days to eat it before starting the crazy diet. *sigh*

  5. Dawna-Don't even try to minimize everything you do. Is hubby not much of a help in the house? I have rule about seeing other people's houses first, or at least pictures. I hear you about the grey weather, it's the worst for me.

    As for the dirt and fir needles, um, what just happened? I think I just passed out.

    Susannah-I said "liken," as in, "A is to B..." Anyway, did you clean them? That chair needs to be shot, and that cake needs to be made!

  6. I know you said liken, silly. It still boggles my mind. The two words just don't belong together according to me ;) Yes, I did clean them.
    I most definitely did NOT shoot the chair (what else would i sit in when i needed a chair?) and the cake will (hopefully) be made today with the help of little monster.