Friday, September 4, 2009

Obscurity, Thy Name is Friday

It is rare that the rooster beats me, but I've been running pretty damned hard, going on day number four, retrieving the overwhelming outpouring for Debe and Kris. I'm accustomed to full-throttle, but I think my throttle actually broke. I have been on the brink of tears witnessing yet again how this community can rise to the occasion, despite some rotten apples. I only mention the running to represent just how many people want to help. So as I drifted off, I realized I'd forgotten about Moxieclean and decided you would forgive me or I will cut choo.

Hopefully yesterday you guys tackled at least some of the bigger tasks. Did anyone meet the 20 minute challenge? It's okay, you can try again today, as well as hit some obscure yet extremely satisfying areas. Plus I am going to share some incurable issues in my own house, in hopes of eliciting some sympathy.

Today I have:

-Sat bolt upright muttering "Oh my god! Moxie! Fuck!"

-Got the last load into the washer, before turning around and seeing 100 new loads, snickering.

-Made beds.

-Had protein shake and 39847305 Excedrin.

-Got my dish rack out because my kids have moved out I'm pretty sure. Nah, I'm giving them some slack so I can be with Debe this week. Anyway they've been gone but I will not unload the dishwasher on principle so I need to wash what's in the sink and add to Quinn's burden if he ever comes home. FYI: My darling jean-wearing, skater-hair-having, studly-wallet-chain-brandishing, checkered Vans son went shopping with my mom yesterday after apparently stopping by a drive-thru to get a brain transplant, and they sent this picture of a new outfit he had to have. Please don't talk about the hat, for it is the bane of my existence. I was like, "Yeah he can have that but is he, like, applying for a job on Wall Street?" Later, he and his uncle went to Burgerville and Chris dared him to ask for an application, which they readily gave him. He's ten. He's tall but he's no Andre the Giant. They were laughing so hard. Boys are easy to amuse. Tangent? What tangent?

Anyway, here he is, ready for the Ivy League, or burgerville, whatever, if someone could just please take that goddamn hat. I will pay you:

-Dove to the computer so as not to waste the entire day.

Among the things I hate today:

When I washed the linen liners of my laundry sorter, I noticed one rubber stopper was missing. How in the fuck? OMG I scoured, to no avail. It's like not even physically possible to have this one drop off and disappear. Sigh, whatever doesn't kill us right?:

The new packaging for Kirkland wipes:

The extraneous shit which huddles on my computer desk pretending to be tidy and invisible, but I see you! I HATE YOU!:

The fact that dearest Todd claims virtually every surface as his office (the money is from the kids for iTunes they bought):

The fact that my family thinks books are not considered debris, and scatters them everywhere. Look, I am glad you're literate, now pick your shit up, even if it is The Bible (dodges lightning bolt). CLEAN SURFACES PEOPLE! How long have you lived with me?:

The snuffleupagus that is my drying rack once all my clothes are washed. This is not disorder, but it is chaos, at least in my head:

Snuffleupagus junior, the clothes I have to lie out on laundry baskets. I think I may need an Old Navy intervention:

These are the things on which I will be hard at work today. You cannot imagine how I loathe putting my clothes away, since I have five times that much and nothing fits. But at least they're all jammed in on white hangers, so little signs of intermittent order help.

I also need to request visitation with my children so they can do their chores. I know Reilly must be relegated to her "anyday" underwear by now, and she will need to shave her legs. Yeah, I feel hopeful I will see them today.

Of course, everything comes to a screeching halt if Debe needs me (keep sending prayers), but I hope to post pics of my success(es) before I head out to fetch more goodies for my beloved Debe and Kris and Sorren.

Some things you might consider:

-Spend 10 minutes under each sink. Really. Toss shit out, empty the waste basket, consolidate...whatever, organize, wipe down, then wipe down the cupboard doors. You will be so happy you did this next time you bend down, which no one over 30 relishes, to get into these low places. Do it.

-Get under your computer with two Kirkland wipes and wipe down all the computer cords, power strip, speakers, the edge of the carpet and baseboard, the tower, etc. Double if you have two computers. If you have a laptop, find other cords to clean (the tv).

-Throw five items away from your refrigerator.

-Clear off the front and top of your refrigerator while you're there. No, shut up, I don't want to hear, it. Put the artwork on the side. A clean face (and top) are hella rewarding.

-Pay your window sills (and windows???) a visit.

Now leave me alone. Mesina is calling me. We got married online yesterday and this is our first conversation as Mrs. and Mrs.

Good luck, don't forget to share.


  1. I have to be honest, I have been trying to focus this last week of summer on doing activities with my children. That said, on the agenda today is the beach (?), feeding birds, possibly picking blackberries.


  2. That convo as a newlywedded couple rocked! We were so goo-goo it must be love ♥

    SOOOO good to actually hear your voice and talk like real people, instead of leaving virtual sticky notes for each other.

    That said, nothing got cleaned today except my hallway. I was busy working all day while the kids are still gone, and will be over the weekend but come Sunday my babies are back!!! YAY! Monday I will clean like a Mo Fo....word.

  3. Alright, here's my update:

    I ended up cleaning the hell out of my OVERLY NEGLECTED kitchen-and I'm still not done. . .

    I did also manage to get the van cleaned out AGAIN.

    Sadly, THAT'S IT!

  4. Oh yeah, and let's not forget that I HATE the new kirkland wipe packaging! It absolutely makes my eye twitch!

    BESIDES being just like the baby wipe packages, that packaging is also not recyclable where I'm at! :-/

  5. Dawna-Way to be a good mama! Plus you did a hell of a lot!

    Mesina-Clean schmean we were on our honeymoon.♥

    Dawna-Hooray for sudden bursts of energy to clean the hell out of your kitchen, and hooray for agreeing with me about the shitty new packaging for Kirkland wipes. Ugh.

    My house is at a dull roar. I've been home seven minutes this week. I think the kids came home for a wardrobe change, I noticed several upcoming days' worth of underwear gone. But tomorrow I get them back and we have hella things to do, like QUINN'S HAIR CUT!!!

    I came home and cleaned the kitchen, wiped it down, made coffee for Saturday, made my list, swept floors, cleared the counter, winced at clutter and will attempt to blog without saying things like "shfuhddhgfodugpegpueq." I'm a little tired. I've been in my car so much there's like a lamp and clothes hanging and a pantry of, well, Ramen.

    Okay, must attempt at least three hours of sleep so as to get MANIC tomorrow.