Thursday, September 3, 2009
Okay I am in the scrub-the-shit-out-of-everything-even-if-it's-already-clean-or-is-your-child stage of grief, which means you are too.
Even Debe was cleaning today, despite my threats, until her "natural cleaning shit" ran out and she was forced to do something more reasonable, like, anything.
I can't wax poetic or humourous or even coherent today, you'll excuse me if I'm not myself, but we're gonna clean today motherfuckers.
1. Grab you timer, stopwatch, cell phone, a child who can count to...1,200.
2. Line up the usual suspects. For those of you to whom the word "usual" applies loosely, this would be some general cleaning solvent, bleach, Ajax, Brilo pads if necessary, broom, Swiffer, wipes, and yes Karinda, a damp cloth.
Clear your path. Ottomans, jackets, dogs, etc.
3. Set your timer for 20 minutes--
4. Empty your dryer, set basket aside...
5. Rotate wet clothes into dryer and more clothes into washer...
6. Sweep laundry room floor...
7. Sprinkle Ajax in kitchen sink, bathrooms sinks, tubs, and toilets...
8. Scoop up all mates and put them in a pile in the laundry room...
9. Strip beds or make them, hurry...
10. Use a sponge to scour kitchen sink, followed by wiping down kitchen, appliances, sweep and Swiff. Kitchen done. Unless there's hella trash.
11. Now scrub bathroom sink(s), then tubs, followed by toilets, tossing sponge in the wash.
12. Sweep the bathroom floors.
13. Pick up 20 things, preferably throwing them away.
15. Time's up.
Anyone who gets these things done in 20 minutes, let me know I will take you to coffee.
If you're all pumped and using cleaning as a means not to go insane like I am, wash windows, mirrors, empty all wastebaskets, check window tracks, look for cobwebs, dust tv/game area/computer(s), etc. The go hit your car! Shop-Vac!!!
Seriously, when derby starts, you guys are in for it.
Your music is your three favourite Michael Jackson songs. (*Moonwalks*)