Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thriller Thursday

Okay I am in the scrub-the-shit-out-of-everything-even-if-it's-already-clean-or-is-your-child stage of grief, which means you are too.

Even Debe was cleaning today, despite my threats, until her "natural cleaning shit" ran out and she was forced to do something more reasonable, like, anything.

I can't wax poetic or humourous or even coherent today, you'll excuse me if I'm not myself, but we're gonna clean today motherfuckers.

1. Grab you timer, stopwatch, cell phone, a child who can count to...1,200.
2. Line up the usual suspects. For those of you to whom the word "usual" applies loosely, this would be some general cleaning solvent, bleach, Ajax, Brilo pads if necessary, broom, Swiffer, wipes, and yes Karinda, a damp cloth.
Clear your path. Ottomans, jackets, dogs, etc.
3. Set your timer for 20 minutes--
4. Empty your dryer, set basket aside...
5. Rotate wet clothes into dryer and more clothes into washer...
6. Sweep laundry room floor...
7. Sprinkle Ajax in kitchen sink, bathrooms sinks, tubs, and toilets...
8. Scoop up all mates and put them in a pile in the laundry room...
9. Strip beds or make them, hurry...
10. Use a sponge to scour kitchen sink, followed by wiping down kitchen, appliances, sweep and Swiff. Kitchen done. Unless there's hella trash.
11. Now scrub bathroom sink(s), then tubs, followed by toilets, tossing sponge in the wash.
12. Sweep the bathroom floors.
13. Pick up 20 things, preferably throwing them away.
14. Vacuum.
15. Time's up.

Anyone who gets these things done in 20 minutes, let me know I will take you to coffee.

If you're all pumped and using cleaning as a means not to go insane like I am, wash windows, mirrors, empty all wastebaskets, check window tracks, look for cobwebs, dust tv/game area/computer(s), etc. The go hit your car! Shop-Vac!!!

Seriously, when derby starts, you guys are in for it.

Your music is your three favourite Michael Jackson songs. (*Moonwalks*)


  1. Wow, I am totally taking this challenge today! especially since I am working today until 4pm and will only have like 20 minutes to spare cleaning. I will report back when I've actually done something other than work.....promise :)

  2. Pft. . .Not fair! There's no hope for coffee for me. Changing the beds alone (6 ppls worth) takes more than 20 minutes! Ah well-we'll see what happens. Wish me luck!

  3. Oh my G.... after work felt like total crap. Maurice came home, I had done NOTHING, but was soooo sooooo exhausted (I blame the fetus) then I am to be at a friends house at 7.30pm - Maurice drives me. Where I spent THE ENTIRE NIGHT in and out of her bathroom with a bad stomach!
    Came home, continued bathroom sagas and now wondering whether I should shower before bed. Its not a tummy bug, I know what it is, but holy craparoonie I wanna just curl up with Maurice and make the bad tummy go away!! *Wail*
    Cleaning only happened in stages through my exhausted state and bad tummy pains :(

  4. Dawna-No coffee = automatic out.

    Mesina, my wife- I LOVE blaming the fetus. He's old enough to tow the line! Also, I'm kind of sick of you going to friends' houses constantly. Where's our time? I lost 35 lbs. last year spending ALL of 2008 shitting my brains out, not knowing I was allergic to everything but sand. I'd have to stop twice just to drive a mile. So I lurve diarrhea stories, the more awkward the better. Okay, in the interest of cleanliness and all that is holy, TAKE THE FUCKING SHOWER! Why is it a question? Have you been hit about the head? Especially if your ass wants to be curling up to Maurice, my god. Or maybe don't tell him...just make sure you tidy up the loo after each (of 4,500) visit(s).

  5. The outcome of my day yesterday?

    I spent a decent portion of the day in a small section of my garage. It's a good thing that my garbage man's truck lifts the cans for him lest my can give him an hernia!

    The other large portion of my day was spent in the girls room. What a CHORE! It's a Christmas freaking miracle that I made it out alive! I got rid of quite a bit of stuff but would have liked to see more go. Ah well. Every little bit helps!