Friday, September 18, 2009

Soo-Soo Saturday Whoa-oh!


Dude, am I like eating alone in the cafeteria of domesticity or what? Judging by comments you've all become hoarders. Thank goodness I still get my faithful updates via text and email, from people, god bless them, who refuse to learn to comment. No seriously, it's okay, as long as you're cleaning.

TODAY IS MANIC CLEANING SATURDAY, AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS:


There are some other odds and ends but if I get this much done before Todd whisks the kids away for the weekend, I'll be happy...for .5 seconds.

IF YOU COULD MANAGE, DURING YOUR CUSTOMARY SATURDAY STRIKE:


-Kick your dishes' asses, which includes a cursory (at least) wipe-down for the kitchen.

-Beat your laundry senseless.

-Start these first thing, before you yawn, or start your coffee. Serious.

-Pick up your living room. Straighten rugs, tighten couch cushions, straighten/fold blankets, put baby toys in a bin, where they will stay for 10 seconds, line up shoes, sweep or wipe the (likely) linoleum entryway. Wash your main, or picture, window.

-Set your timer for 10 minutes and blast MmmBop (no I won't stop) until your sinks, tubs, and toilets utter a tearful thank you. Wipe down the floor while you're there too, maybe wash the mat(s)?

-This reminds me, grab five random items throughout the house and wash them. For instance, the toothbrush holder, soap dishes, espresso hoppers, sink stoppers, etc. You will be glad.

-TOTAL BONUS POINTS FOR ANYONE WHO CLEANS THEIR CAR.

-Extra bonus points for those of you who have converted, or are converting, to all white hangers. Please, no excuses about the ones your grandma crocheted. Save them somewhere. Utilitarian items ought to be white whenever possible, except for spatulas and such, which will scorch (if I'm cooking) and get discoloured--blech--and should be black.

-20 minute race through, and you're done.

-Okay now that I've busted my ass, there had better be some Kardashians on. Shut it.

5 comments:

  1. I read, I loathe, I whine, and then I clean. Still here, and want those darn bonus points.

    Amy
    (LOVIN' Seal Rock)

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  2. Hi Amy! Get those bonus and I'll mail you a Starbucks gift card. But you have to vacuum too--only because it feels sooooooo good for the 15 seconds it lasts with all those kids. Make them take off their shoes in the car, YES! So nice to see you back.

    Thus far today I have made bed, made protein shake, made coffee, started laundry, corrected kids' math, began making copies for a major endeavor upon which I will soon embark, wiped the kitchen, picked up annoying threads off the bathroom mats, dumped Ajax every which way but loose, loaded the last three glasses and started dishwasher, dusted some, ground more coffee beans, and answered email. Next up: Try one more time to hang this godforsaken world map, maybe if I shoot it with darts it will stay up...F***! Also, the couch keeps inviting me over to sit, "just for a few minutes." I have got to blast some Ting Tings if I am to persevere.

    Can't wait to hear more my MIA Moxlings!

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  3. OMG-I swear to you, last time I did a deep cleaning of my van I literally took my shoes off when I got in. Needless to say, when the other five pairs of dirty shoes that travel with me, and a curious dog ran through I had to focus on breathing so as not to hyperventilate!

    I am pleased to say though that, although it is in need of vacuuming again, the horrendous kid mess that seemed to be mandatory has been kept at bay. Woohoo!

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  4. Cleaning tonight turned into a disaster when a box labeled "clothes" turned out to be wedding pictures. Can I just curl up in a ball? Someone will clean for me, right? Right?

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  5. Dawna- You are a superhero. I love your devotion to keeping that van--undoubtedly your home away from home--clean. Coastal pine needles suck ass. Keep it up.

    Susannah-I'm on my way with kerosene. I had a similar night of being haunted by bitches past. Ugh. Clean I tell you, clean.


    Got my list accomplished in a round-about way. Set my sights on some plans for tomorrow (which was three hours ago.) A clean house plus old episodes of Lost can cure just about...well...45% of life's evil tricks. Extra Matthew Fox-centric episodes can alleviate more like 55% of what troubles (me).

    ReplyDelete