Friday, October 16, 2009

Sky-Ski Saturday!

This is perhaps the ugliest picture of Sky and me but it just happened to be on the computer desk and I'm conserving all my energy for scrubbing the house down to its insulation in anticipation of my beloved brother and his family tonight! We're Polish so when I was little I added "ski" to everything, including Sky, who became, much to his dread, Sky-Ski. He didn't kill me, so that's good. Obviously I don't call him that now because duh, it's really stupid, but the picture reminded me of it.

So yeah they're on the road, with my cherished nephews and amazing sister-in-law, and I know it's not critical to go at one's home with a toothpick (or its highly evolved form, the Sonic Scrubber) for family, but come one, yes it is. And Sky keeps a meticulous home. I don't even think a dish has ever hit his sink before he grabs it and fills the dishwasher, which no one else on earth is apparently qualified to do. He lurves him a clean kitchen, and I'm going to show him that the same Lysol is coursing through my veins. Like in case he forgot. I have already hung the colanders on nails, because even the adhesive tabs that cost $1,000 are shit, and they fall in the middle of the night and I die of fright. I have already bleached my entire floor, pulled the stove out, cleaned the grill of the refrigerator, bleached the garbage can, scrubbed my cupboards, dusted all the trim and washed the windows. Did I mention they're staying with my mom? I have Reilly over there lending a well-trained hand.

Nonetheless, today my list likely reflects my desire to impress my big brother more so than my OCD.

See for yourself:


-Do any three things on my list.

-Beat those basics down until they plead for mercy.

-I strongly urge you to run a wipe across the upper trim if you can reach it. I won't ask you to stand on a chair but I will tell you to stand on a chair to reach it. It's funky.

-Be on the look-out for wayward wall dirt. Call upon Mr. Clean scrubbers.

-Change all sheets/re-make beds.


There. That's not so bad right? In lieu of jumping for joy I will be lying down for joy, in between stolen moments of cleaning bliss. Todd is so afraid I'll break my neck or some shit, I'll have to be a secret agent to get this done. But I will. And so will you. Keep us posted.


  1. I'm staggering after an all-day birth yesterday. Hoping to start catching up on laundry and dishes today, but also looking forward to some relaxation with my knitting group. Perhaps I can make some real headway tomorrow.

  2. I think I'll start with grinding the coffee beans. Who doesn't love that smell?

    I got to that on your list, and quite honestly it's all I can think about now. I can't go any further until said coffee is ingested.

    You're amazing.
    Enjoy family and try to spend at least four seconds trying to heal your wounded body.

    Amy (Raining in Seal Rock)

  3. Katie-Are you a doula? Friend? Sorry, I don't know. You definitely deserve some down time, as you are the very same Katie whose own body could use some TLC right? Catching up on laundry and dishes is an excellent and appropriate goal for today and you'll have that much more fun knitting knowing you've started. :)

    Amy-Lol, I know right? Unfortunately coffee gives me raging, "No, I'm actually dying this time" panic attacks now, so on the days I make some, I drink two sips, convinced that much caffeine will make a difference (+ Excedrin), and then put the rest in the refrigerator. So on any given morning there are like 12 mostly full coffees. But do I do take the practical route and drink them? Nope, because it's all about the grinding and brewing babay! Right? I totally get it.

    But I don't get how your daughter is like, a real person, a teenager? Skylar? I've seen pictures of you, how in the hell do you have a teenager? Wow.

    My blasted brother has a cold or some weak-ass shit and isn't coming until tomorrow. OMG I have saved the world the day after surgery, men are weak.

    So far today, upon waking in the dark to find that my super tidy son Quinn had left a trail of Goldfish crackers from the love seat to his room, wondered if maybe he has become a drunk, or if perhaps he thought he was Hansel...

    Anyway, I have cleaned, hella. Tore into the kitchen, ripped up everything that wasn't nailed down and put it in the washing machine, scoured the bathroom floor with my Sonic Scrubber, got carried away, washed throw pillows, rugs, damn near threw the printer in the wash, I was rabid. Then I sat down to my list and realized nothing I did was on my list skdjfhlshf;sdhf;jkDSG;FJSDFS;

    So then I rearranged all the crap on the refrigerator (also not on my list) and decided bacon would infuse me with a renewed fervor for what lies ahead, but Todd was reticent because the kitchen is so clean so then I became pissed, and that probably motivated me better than anything. I've got half my list crossed off, 9283629385 off-list tasks underway or completed, and as soon as Quinn remembers he works for me and not his father, who is totally in love with Anthony Bourdain, I will get him working too.

    By the way? My entire body is screaming. This is shit. I can clean my baseboards after that Dodge Ram had its way with me, but Sky can't be a passenger because his temperature is 100? 6'4 1/2" and I'm tougher than he. I am not surprised. Off to make bacon while creating zero mess, rotate the lamps and drawers and doorknobs into the dryer, hand Quinn his list, bleach some more sinks, and then maybe take a shower and make a Target run with Debe, who is cleaning, as she put it, "15 decks of cards, 94750409 blankets, and hell of oranges all having an orgy in the living room." Hahahahahaha! Okay I may have had like seven sips this morning.

    It's raining here too, another reason Y-chromosome types think it's okay to stop moving.

  4. Well, I've been dealing with the sick kiddo since yesterday and she's ended up staying at home with Mama and Papa this weekend instead of rushing off to her Dad's. We were happy to keep her, for when she is ill there is no one like us to pamper her cute lil butt to full health. She's doing fine by the way and is almost bouncing off the walls as per normal.

    So today instead of working my normal day shift, I've opted for some night hours since my little girl is home. Thus, instead of sitting on backside, I hopped to it getting some chores done.
    ♥ Vaccumed all floors with Mr. Dyson, but since Maurice was home we couldn't be all mushy mushy, so we kept it low key and I whispered in the hallway out of Maurice's ear shot that he was the sweetest damn vaccum on the face of the planet and how devoted I was. It was kinda creepy to be honest.
    ♥ Moved my sofa and cleaned all that shit underneath. Did you hear that? MOVED MY SOFA AND EVICTED ZE DUSTBUNNIES - I'm such a badass
    ♥ Maurice did all the dishes AND cleaned the countertops in the kitchen to help out. Omg I love this man and I will say there weren't just a few dishes, it was stuffed full! He even cleaned the stove top. Dude.
    ♥ Did a general sweep through the house and made sure the livingroom was fit for the family to dirty up again. So basically it got cleaned in hopes of more cups being left behind and crap to be strewn about. You know, so I don't get bored. *sigh*
    ♥ Did dog duty in the backgarden..not fun. Hate that job, but hey someone has to clean up after them. Sickos

    Then I just sat down to read my book this afternoon and cuddle the lil monster while she watched some TV and rested herself better. Tomorrow we rinse and repeat!

  5. Mes-You are moving sofas while carrying my child??? S'okay, he can handle it. He wants you to even. I love your quiet interlude with Mr. Dyson, he must be one fine machine to make lead your eyes (thoughts?) astray from Maurice. I love you being a bad-ass. Does your phone work? Cups being left behind = :( Haven't you heard of our program in the US? "No Cup Left Behind?" Dog duty, fuckity fuck. I loathe pets. Yep, I do, and I hate fall too so SUCK IT! (Not you necessarily, but any nay-sayers.)

    I went ballistic. Every inch, sparkling. Every surface, bare. Every speck of dust, murdered. Every sink, bleached. Every piece of fabric, put away properly. Every rug, washed. Every appliance, scoured inside and out. Ad nauseum. Sky had better lick my goddamned floors or I will kill him, plain and simply.

    A good day. And then, every cell in my body was like "Remember your very recent collision with a very big truck?" And as I pondered my response I fell to the ground and cried for my heaties and was paralyzed forever more.

  6. So. . I, pretty much took the day off. That equates to one load of laundry, dishwasher unloaded and reloaded, balanced checkbook (almost), and took Katrina to her first play practice!!! I think I may be as excited as she is.

    (When I was a kid I was painfully shy. Now, since I've done some work in sales ((blech!!)) and had kids, I'm less shy but I'm REALLY good at living vicariously!) ;-)

  7. Mesina-I just have to say that your love affair with Mr. Dyson has inspired a lurker/former friend/douche bag/insert endless adjectives to copy the manner in which you describe your relationship with him. Isn't that flattering? I mean unless having sex with one's appliances really is a sick epidemic, you're her inspiration. How charming!

  8. And Dawna-Since when was all that a day off you lunatic? Just goes to show what a show-off you usually are. :)

  9. I'm someone's inspiration?! Holy mother of something or other! Someone send a memo to that woman and tell her that her idol should be someone sane! It is kinda flattering though, although there's only one true devotion from one domestic lady to an appliance....

    and that's me and Mr. Dyson...oh honey, let me turn you on...*whrrrrrrrrrrrr*

  10. Ha! Less show off and more OCD and ADD. I can't NOT do stuff. Sometimes one thing leads to another and I end up accomplishing a lot and others I only accomplish the bare minimum, but either way I rarely stand still.