Monday, November 9, 2009

Miniature Monday

Let me see a show of hands from those who arose this dark wet day with a burning drive to clean clean clean! Just as I suspeced, all I saw was my own eager reflection in the monitor. But that's okay.

Alloe to refresh your memories as to Moxieclean's main objective. I know so many people who feel crippled when the house in its entirety becomes, as it is often called, a "shit hole," crippling some of you completely. Frankly, my goal is not for your house to shine like the top of the Chrysler Building, I'm not Ms. Hannigan. I just aim to urge you to tackle just enough each day, even if it's bare bones, that your never face the monstrous task of slaying your entire house. That's just shit, even I don't like that.

So let's bear in mind that I'm just trying to keep encourage general, eye-pleasing tasks like vacuuming and wiping the bathrooms, with a crevice cleaning and/or window track chaser. Bottom line: Your best is always good enough. Doing anything helps. A swipe a day keeps the shit hole away!

I am still globe-trotting. Well maybe not globally, but away from home is away from home, and despite, as I've said before, Todd and the kids being unusually tidy, I can feel hives streaking across my face because, for instance, no one will have thought to sweep the laundry room, which will be a jungle, and bedding. Oh bedding. My mind makes no distinction between seven comforters on the floor and a dump truck dumping dirt onto my carpet. Anyway, let's see what we can cook up today:

-Coffee is key today. It's freeezing, I'm wearing a Snuggie, and it's going to take some extra oomph to dig in and get the washer going, especially for Sam and others whose machines arein the garage--brrr. :(

-Have a kid unload any clean dishes that stand in the way of loading the dirty ones. start way over at the stove top, scooching everything as near to the sink as possible, even if you have multiple loads. Soak pans, stack plates uniformly, gather DREADED (yes even I dread it) and stick it all in one large glass, streamline as much as possible and start loading. Leave the left side filled with soapy warm water to make the next round that much easier. Having the washer and dishwasher humming will give you a good boost, I promise.

-Chug some more coffee, without sitting down, and begin a sweep from one end of the house to the other. You can skip individual rooms. Pick up dishes first, then garbage, clothing, books/magazines, and threaten your children with something awful unless they get everything they own out of your sight.

-Give each said child, now that they are already scared, two wipes and instruct them to go into their rooms and wipe down desks, dressers, window trim, and doorknobs!


-I know it's time to answer the call of your bathroom(s). Ajax in the sink, toilet, and shower, and remember your vinyl liner, or vinyl curtain if that's what you have, can go in the washing machine on medium setting, warm, with a bit o'soap and bleach. The beauty is it will get the pink shit off in like 20 minutes and there's no drying/folding involved! Just bundle it up and whisk it into the bathroom wet, dripping all over, and rehang it. I'm a big fan of washing bath mats often, so you need to be as well. I loathe stepping on a damp mat--yuck. So scoop those up, beckon a child to haul them to the laundry heap, and sweep the floor(s). Extra points for getting down to the nitty gritty baseboards. Start with sinks, then tub/shower, and then toilet. Toss your sponge into the wash, and if there's any post-scrubbing grit, which can happen with cleanser, use wipes to shine it up.

-We all still have copious wipes on hand at all times right? It's one of things one needs to possess in abundance in case of nuclear war or something.

-I challenge each of you to open one cupboard, pull everything out, wipe it down, get rid of old half-melted candles in the shape of a 7, as I swear to the baby Jesus you will not use it. You will forget and buy another 7 and then what? So pitch it now.

-Make sure the top of your refrigerator is bare unless your house is 1,000 sq. ft. or less. Still, a wipe-down and quick glance to see if anything needs to be thrown away is a good idea.

-Strip beds/change sheets. Is your room a peaceful place? It can be in five-to-ten minutes. Clear/straighten night stands, make your bed, organize tops of dressers, which usually amounts to putting laundry away. Wipe down window sills, remove dishes, clutter, anything that steals your vision as soon as you enter and makes you want to burn the place down.

-Meanwhile, set a 20 or 30 minute timer for your kids and have them tackle their rooms too. You can always fine tune later, but they can get the bulk under control, those who are old enough.

That's it. This is a great start for a Monday, and you can DO IT!!! One movement at a time can keep you triumphant over your house.

Soon I will post pics of whatever it is I return to, possibly subsequent shots of me dead or really drunk. :)


  1. I'm here!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    oh man I've been cleaning like a bitch on crack. I still need to organise the upstairs and go through cupboards to pull shit out only to put it back in again. Which I will be doing since Maurice's Dad is coming friday. EEEK! He doesn't speak great english so I get to practise my crappy Dutch for 4 days >.<

    But the entire downstairs is clean and these past days I've been keeping it that way in order to avoid the whole omfg people are coming friday DOUCHE THE HOUSE OUT NOW! panic that normally sets in. Now I can focus on making the underneath just as shiny. xx

  2. Ran laundry yesterday, so I just need to fold it and put it away today.

    The dishwasher is chugging as I type! You'll be so proud of me, I had it filled and going before I finished breakfast. (The which was leftover popcorn from last night, eaten at 11:30 am... but there are extenuating circumstances, and I SLEPT LAST NIGHT!!!)

    Left to do today: finishing laundry, as remarked above. Possibly another load of dishes. Figuring out wtf to do for dinner. Picking up the living room floor so that Josh can vacuum when he gets home (he volunteered!). Chasing the toddler. I think that's a pretty full day for me. >.<

  3. Today? Not so good for me.
    Visited a friend,
    folded one load of laundry,
    . . .yikes. . .I think that's about it. 8-/