Saturday, December 19, 2009

Manic Christmas Cleaning Saturday!

Get that coffee down your gullet and hop to it! This is the last Saturday before the big occasion, and we're going to get down and dirty. No time to waste reading, I'll spare you my hilarious anecdotes and run-on sentences and put you straight to work.


-Drink a pot of coffee accompanied by FOOD--remember food? Preferably protein, maybe oatmeal, but even cereal will help stave off the coffee-on-an-empty-stomach misery which will await you otherwise. Bacon is best. For everything. Even as a gift. Please being me some as I scrub Magic Marker off unforgiving surfaces.

-So coffee and breakfast: check. Tell your kids they're going to bust their tails.

-Blast music.

-Don comfy garb, put your hair in a ponytail/hat whatever. This is Eye of the Tiger.

-Get that dishwasher running and/or drying rack filled up.

-Show your washing machine who's boss.

-Get out your fine scouring device of choice.

-Make a mental or written list of areas you would sacrifice a limb to avoid for life.



-Rotate dishes.

-Rotate laundry.

-Put aforementioned children to work doing whatever they do best/you hate most. Cleaning their rooms, vacuuming (I'm a big fan of vacuuming), organizing something, folding laundry...

-Whip out that dreaded list and kick your own ass with it. Ideas? Window tracks, baseboards, back splashes, fixtures, as well as the appropriate poison (ie-Windex, Lysol, what have you).

-Pick three floors to annihilate. Especially corners, they get funky.

-Strip all beds.


-You guessed it. Rotate dishes.

-Rotate laundry.

-Keep those kids hopping. They'll sleep well.

-Clean out your microwave.

-Spruce up your entryway.

-Wash all mats in the house.

Bonus* Sprinkle Ajax in your porcelain so you'll be forced to scrub it when you shower.


-Have kids empty all garbages and sweep the walkway.

If y'all don't feel amazing and/or dead, then there's nothing for you, lol.


  1. Alright, Saturday's are always so broken up for us with Katrina having rehearsal from 1-4. That said, this morning we emptied the van of car seats and stowed the seats (stow-and-go rocks!) Hit the van lightly with the vacuum-more to follow later.
    -Moved new large table to it's new home in our dining room
    -vacuum inside the house
    -covered upholstery on new chairs in dining set with plastic (white+kids=nightmares!)
    -vacuum the car and finish vacuuming the van so seats can go back in
    -cleaned kitchen

    Really would have liked to have gotten more done, but try as I might, I'm not superhuman; YET!

    I would not be surprised if I get swept up in holiday chaos, especially with kids out of school so in case I don't get a chance to say it later,
    Happy Holidays all!

  2. Dawna-You always do an outstanding job. Frankly "stow-and-go" kind of makes me want to jam a pencil in my eye. I'm sure your christmas will be clean and clockwork, and if you miss something, blame a have plenty from which to choose! Kiss them all. Hey, Brandy (Nichols) lives equidistant from us. I have wondered about her for years. I feel another reunion coming on...

    Today was straight from a scene in My Big Fat Greek Cleaning Debacle. I told my friend D I'd help her clean and hang lights, but for reasons that are a mixure of hilarious and slash-your-throat sad, the only solvent she had was Windex. All I can say is that every window in her house, as well as the appliances, stove top, floors, and even counters, they were all my bitches. Improv baby. Then go out and buy her some lemon-scented Lysol. Making due is one thing, but we're not animals, damn.