Oddly, I feel as though my stupefying success at pre-hysteria-shopping equals easing up on your Monday. I am practically high on a series of retail coups that have given me the edge on christmas. Take that christmas!
Yesterday, in preparation for taking my kids and two teenagers shopping, I:
-Changed the sheets/made the bed.
-Wiped down the bathroom.
-Put away all my clothes.
-Got ready in 11.5 seconds.
-Loaded up the tail end of a load of dishes.
-Kept an iPod, an iPhone, an EnV, and a camera, all safe/straight/working all day, not to mention mediating the delicious, ongoing Israeli-Palestinian-like conflict between my children over the home cell phone. Joy of joys, take my word.
Today I'm on the road so my line is being towed by my dutiful (bribed) children, Todd, and the good people I'm fortuitous enough to know, who will stand in line at Borders to get that one thing I have to have, because my current location can boast a Fred Meyer at best.
On the road, the greatest cleaning challenge is keeping the car clean. I have no idea why this is, since people don't typically deviate from their regular habits just because they're in a car. Except they do. For some reason, though I vacuum my car weekly and wipe it down daily, when I travel, even in someone else's car, I amass approximately 15 Dasani bottles each day. However, there are also straw wrappers everywhere, plus like pennies that have dove onto the floorboard, napkins, bobby pins, and invariably, something sticky. So I'm on serious patrol, as I get really cranky when the car is full of shit, and I disengage from the vacation. I recommend everyone ratcheting up his/her vigilance about the car.
For those of you whose homesteads are a bother today:
-The basics. Big time.
-Clean your coffee/espresso makers.
-Clean out your refrigerator. Toss out old food. No, you're not going to eat that, and then remove the shelving and wash it in the sink. Wipe everything out and re-stock the refrigerator. This is an amazing pre-season pick-me-up.
-Bleach your kitchen sink.
-Confront and/or reconfigure your holiday list and get one thing checked off.
This is an exceedingly doable almost-christmas Monday cleaning list, come on!*
(*Disclaimer: It is almost incomprehensible to post about cleaning while everyone in the room is watching Dane Cook. While I am reasonably certain I pulled it off, I am slightly worried that everything I typed was racist or sexist or x-rated.)