Monday, December 28, 2009

The Mondayer the Merrier

I don't usually get the Monday doldrums, or whatever it's called, but today I have two units of it, likely stemming from christmas let-down. I spent the entire weekend cleaning the house as if I was serving the Obamas a picnic on the bathroom floor, and breaking the world record for going to Old Navy the most times in 72 hours, oh and Starbucks, but from what I've heard, most of you were OD-ing on tryptophan and cursing the speed with which our shiny, hella expensive wrapping paper turns into a wasteland of overwhelming bullshit. Some had pipes burst, unexpected company, and other intrusions, so I went all soft on your asses, even as I arose at dawn to detail a friend's car and slipped on the ice, into the splits, with my front knee bent and shredded it open, yet soldiered on.

So okay, my house has been stripped of all things christmas, except the lights, our first ever, and the cards. I was going to take them down yesterday but like five more arrived and so we'll enjoy that a while longer.

Onto your house(s):

-Were you all blessed with the gift of clothing? We were! Get those washers running.

-Are the dishes so bad you want to move? If you got a gift card, break all your dishes and get new ones. If not, man that sucks. Get crackin'.

-Get the kids on those toys.

-Make sure all disposable signs of the wreckage, er, festivity, are gone.


-I have a feeling the dining room table needs some tough love too.

-Remove three items from your house permanently. DO IT!

Okay that's a start. We've got to keep on a steady course, especially those of us who have New Years Eve plans. My best advice there is to wisely plan it at someone else's home, lol. But seriously, back on the wagon. And throw your tree in it if you're ready!


  1. Monday doldrums? Hardly. It's more like a combo of "I didn't get shit for my friend for Christmas" and "WTF, my New Year's Resolution list is 8 miles long". I'm gonna go work on my sink. Ack.


  2. Dob-You worry about the weirdest things. Here's a tip: Eight mile long lists of resolutions are an instant fail. I wish you would just do whatever I say, things would be so much easier and more importantly, they would MAKE SENSE!

    Have fun with your sink. I'm off to get into a fine coffee frenzy.