Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What up Wednesday

Well first of all, I would like to announce that one of our prized Moxlings, Mesina, found out today that the baby she's carrying is a y-chromosome. Our baby, so named because five months ago, I was talking to Mes on the phone, and she commented that she like loved my fb profile picture--the same one out of 7,000 taken that everyone likes. Only, she liked it so much, I told her I think I may have gotten her pregnant, across the pond, and that we would have this beautiful son. (There was no alcohol involved, I just have an inexplicably keen sense about babies.) Lo and behold she phoned again a few weeks later to announce that she was in fact pregnant, and we have been talking about and naming our son ever since. To date, I have never been wrong about a baby's gender, and in a few cases, have predicted a pregnancy before it occurred or before it was announced. I am fighting like hell for one name, and the baby's father, while knee-bucklingly handsome, wants a more common moniker. In any event, congratulations Mes and Maurice on the health of my, er, our, er, your son, and cannot wait to bestow his first Swiffer Duster upon him.

We're officially into December, and in no time flat you'll be scurrying around for those holiday accoutrements and soon cleaning will fall by the wayside. We must avoid this.

My best advice is to rid every corner, room, and surface of everything you can. This will enhance sanity.

Perhaps this is the year to consolidate your christmas things into bins--Fred Meyer sells the uber-festive red and green ones.

Dig out your Johnny Mathis and get in the spirit.

Make easy meals to preserve energy for the big day.

Keep your kids hopping on chores.

Wash windows.

Consolidate insurmountable piles of crap--whatever form they may take--into one pile. For now, understand?

Perform a cobweb-ectomy.


Conjure up the genius inside you to create innovative ways of saving space. DO IT!
(Ideas include totes galore, out of sight out of mind, ditch things that serve no purpose, rearrange furniture, go Japanese, set an accidental fire, whatever, just open up space. My house is like the setting for some David Blaine entrapment stunt. Squeaky clean but super tiny. Space is my fantasy, so I'm projecting it onto you all.)

Pretty much everyone I know is under unusually high stress, and it would be so easy to get swallowed by the holiday monster. but let's fight it. If we fail we can all meet for drinks.

Let me know if I can help. I've got all my supplies in my car, and as most of you know, I do take S.O.S. calls, lol.


  1. Weird. I find myself commentless today. Yes, I'm aware that by making this comment, I am no longer truly commentless. Hmmm. Must be the sunny December day throwing me off.

  2. Dobby-You need Ritalin and to tackle whatever the hell comes after those "tops" you tackled with such fervor the other day. Also, if you ever lick money again I kill you, to prove that it's unsafe.

    Today I wiped down a bathroom, switched organizers, tidied up my night stand, made the bed, hung up my clothes, and used an entire Bath & Body anti-bacterial gel bottle after using the bathroom at the tattoo shoppe.

    Oh! And Gail, I made the master list!

  3. Awwwww thank you Cheyenne!!! Yes we are still working on that all important name, the likes of which by the time this little sweet man is born he will be born....FRIGGIN NAMELESS! *faints*

    Ok, get a grip me because I still have 4 1/2 months to convince Maurice that indeed my awesome taste in names is...well...awesome and that he in fact needs to just convert to the dark side of the force. We have cookies anyway :)