Okay now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's kick some laundry/dish/clutter/grime/smudge ass!
Welcome Kosandra, Joy, and hopefully Nina! (Joy, I noticed you did not come over as I slept to fix my problem. Selfish.)
(The cord to my laptop broke like six weeks ago, and neither replacement worked, so I'm forced to research and try to figure out why this has been so difficult. Even the universal cords were agonizing failures. So you Moxlings have been on your own. Furthermore, when we had our hard drive wiped recently, somehow all pictures past, present, and future, were reformatted in some nightmare CD cover-looking program and rendered useless until we can change the format, a task for which I'm as qualified as I am to teach unicycle riding.)
So have we all fallen off the wagon or have we been programmed to at least keep some basics under control? I know many of you are under tremendous strain, and so obviously you all are exempt from my ass kicking, but when I'm overwhelmed, I clean. For that matter, when I'm ecstatic, I clean. Anyway, for those of you who think some spray-and-wipe action might boost those spirits, join me in some delicious Saturday scouring!
I can't post my hand-written OCD scrawling, per the aforementioned pictastrophe, but type is easier on the eyes anyway.
Since my morning is limited, I have to make the most of my muscle, shift into overdrive, and totally bust it out. Ahem, That means you have to as well.
First things first:
-Make breakfast for our guest, shove Advil down his/her stubborn vegan, pill-hating gullet.
-Round up all rogue dishes, you know they're there, and take them to the sink.
-Load and run the dishwasher, grabbing the hopper out the instant the wash cycle is over so as to slam some serious caffeine.
-Put all bath mats into laundry.
-Round up the half load of laundry beckoning, supplementing it with the jeans and various outfits of questionable standard Reilly will undoubtedly have stashed between her dresser and closet wall. (When I say questionable, I mean that I don't like them, not that she dresses like some trollop nor harlot.) Also I may peel Quinn's hat off and accidentally lose it. Strip some sheets and voila! A whole load.
-Make chore lists for kids. (FYI: I got the new Swiffer Sweep Vac for Valentines Day, and since the kitchen floor is Reilly's job, she has been positively gushing about this wondrous invention. I would post a picture, but you'll have to bear with me, Flintstone-like.)
-Put all my hang dry clothes away. Yearn for my clothes lost in the fire.
-Sweep/Swiffer laundry room.
-Board up computer room, because I just can't take it.
-DUST DUST a thousand times dust! Start wherever is easiest and ride that train all the way! Ahhh.
-Get your trusty wipes from their proverbial holster, and wipe your kitchen down, sparing no crevice nor appliance. Quick like, I have a get together later!
-For those of you who with a sick fondness for the bigger job, I've been itching to clean and organize the refrigerator. I'm tired of accidentally grabbing chocolate soy milk instead of vanilla. Chocolate fails.
-That's right, I don't like chocolate, are you still with me?
-Go pour your Ajax all over sinks, tubs and toilets, preferably leaving one toilet/sink available for the 2097502975 people who will inexplicably have to pee before you get back in there.
-Back to the kitchen, time for floors. Sweep first, and then either a) Swiff your way to utopia, b) stick with your old mop, perhaps out of sentiment, or c) get on your hands and knees with solvent of choice (my choice): bleach water. Once I'm down there I end up scrubbing up the refrigerator, and the garbage can, which is off white, something that pisses me off to no end, and I always think scrubbing it will help, but it's still off white. Everyone knows all household plastic (wastebaskets, laundry baskets, hangers, etc.) must be white.
-Buy a white garbage can today.
-Fold all blankets in the living room.
-De-clutter living room end table crap.
-Get in those bathrooms, start with sinks, scrub-a-dub, showers/tubs, tossing vinyls liners in the wash on medium, warm, re-hang. I have recently learned, at a friend's house of all places, that even on gentle, an 88-cent liner will shred, while a $1.09 liner will hold up. (!!!) Finally, everyone's favourite, the commode. The more you clean this puppy the less gag reflex action you'll get. Promise.
-Beat guest(s) over the head so they will get up and play.
-Clear and wipe down dining room table, not just repositioning clutter, but either tossing it or putting it away.
-Peek in kids' room(s) and have appropriate response.
-Sweep bathroom floors.
-Vacuum all carpet.
-One last wipe-down, de-clutter, then treat yourself to a shower before dashing off to three million places. Or, stay home and enjoy the shine, but that's not me. In fact, I already feel late!
On your marks, get set, GO!
(*Not proofread unless otherwise noted.)
Look what dutiful, gives-herself-insufficient-credit Moxling Jennifer did today! The jutting out desk wasn't previously there. I LOVE bold new arrangements. To use your word Jennifer, "EPIC" WIN!