Sunday, March 21, 2010

Roll With It

My house has seen a domestic like never before. Corners unknown for 12 years, new furniture, new blinds, valances, bedding, rearranging, sorting things into caddies, painting the walls, bleaching anything that can't run away, teaching the kids innovative tricks for making their chores less gruesome. Funny, they do not want to live in a filthy house, but they don't exactly skip-to-the-lou when it comes to chores. Although I did overhear Reilly on the phone this morning, as I labeled a caddy, saying, "Don't they know we're an OCD house?"

A part of me chuckled, for while I would always rather they lean towards the cleaner side of life, I have worked really effing hard to impart good habits in them without drilling the need to re-check locks 4839857 times, or cry if the bedspread is crooked, not to mention get short of breath and livid at the sight of clutter and water spots. So no, my kids do not have OCD, they just know that I do, and that I set the tone. So OCD by proxy perhaps...

Having recently accomplished so much, with the help of my amazing children, super-fab friends, Todd, who snarls at my grandiose planning but then has to make sure it's all done correctly, and then loves the end result, my brother for loaning me his drill (for the kids' new curtains and the valance in the bathroom), I set out today to get all laundry done, sweep, throw things away, and generally:


What I have found myself doing for the past two hours is a task borne of our great misfortune of washing a new purple microfleece blanket with a shitload of other things, covering the house in more purple fuzz balls than it would even take to make the blanket. Kind of like when you wash a Kleenex and the sum total of the infuriating little bits left in the dryer would span a football field, though it was just one Kleenex. Like that. So I rolled the mattress whereupon Reilly slept during a sleepover, the couches, the ottomans ... (smooth two hour segue) ... and onto the canvas shoe racks, all the carpet along the baseboards, clothing, table runners, shower curtains, my hair (people lose like 200 hairs per day), the closet floor, ad nauseum.

So in an effort to keep up the steam without overwhelming, I want everyone to get their hands on a lint roller, and possibly arm your children (they're protected by the Second Amendment), and get after those throw rugs, welcome mats, and anything else you can think of. It is worth buying/using refills too!

So come one, come all, and post your clever lint action, pictures welcome!


  1. Thanks for the post, Master Moxie!

    Today was a slow, slow day as I have bruised my ankle, but I still managed to tidy up a bit. Couple loads of laundry, dishes, cleaned the car, and paid BILLS!

    Here's to tomorrow...

  2. I was all over the house today.
    Today I:
    -made the kids the picnic blanket that I promised them last summer
    -tidied up my bedroom
    -more grout work
    -cleaned upstairs living room (which has been in a heinous state of disrepair)
    -hung a curtain. . .
    Tomorrow we are back in the car and off to Tigard to visit more family!

  3. Despite the fact that I am NOT supposed to be cleaning...I...

    *Totally douched out the upstairs bathroom, which was pissing me off to a point of a mental breakdown. You can now eat off the sink. You're welcome.

    *Posted about getting kids to clean. Because, I dunno, since I can't clean the way I want I want other people to get their kids to do it. It's a weird fetish.

    *Went over the ''dishes means cleaning dishes, sink, AND counters'' speech with Tahira who totally rolled her eyes at me and went like ''omg Mom this is freaking me out''. But hell, my kitchen looks awesome. I made her MOVE stuff and wipe the WHOLE COUNTER. I am so evil it hurts.

    *I also took care of sick people.

    I am nesting atm, like BAD. My hips are coping extremely well, so when I'm left alone in the house I totally kick ass around here and get in trouble later. COS I CAN. I blame the baby. He's making me do laundry like it's nobody's buisness. Hell I even went through the kids wardrobe yesterday and sorted out the shit that don't fit and put it in a sack for charity. Saving the world, one pair of flood pants at a time. ♥

  4. Danna--Every little bit helps, and personally, I would rather re-side the house than deal with bills, and with an injury to boot. You've proven your mettle. And, "There's always tomorrow?" Are you trying to be teacher's pet? (Hint: I like Fuji apples.)

    Dawna--Picnic blankets? GROUT? Hanging curtains? Do you really have children? Damn lady, you are proof that no one has an excuse. Good job. I think I'm coming to the coast soon. Meet me at Georgie's?

    Mes--First of all, douching is out, like, as of years ago. Its sole purpose is to defame people. Salem has had an epic infestation of douche bags. Where's your Super Dyson? Still, hooray for the bathroom, except I'll be upset if your devotion to me makes our baby come early and so help me God if he ends up Voldemort or some shit I am filing for custody.

    There's no eating in the bathroom.

    I love evil cleaning. You did Tahira a service. She can't leave the nest and have crumbs under the toaster now can she?

    I adore your penchant for tone shifting. You can go from sweet, cute, moxie, ghetto, and wrap it all up in a heart. Only you lady.