Sunday, March 28, 2010
I expect you all to flee in droves, but in keeping it real, I wanted to post the hell hole that is our storage room, which Todd and I are going to use our famously awe-inspiring rapport to clean today. The Lord is weeping, and I'm hoping to get impaled or maimed.
Here ya go folks, Moxie's dirty little secret:
An overview, though I couldn't push the door open all the way, thanks to every roll of wrapping paper I've ever had in my life:
Best I can see, a Britax car seat, an unforgivably giant pink horse, my old bedding set which I still miss, and bags of assorted shit:
Let's see...Pictures cannot capture the enormity of this disaster. Look closely and you'll see, buried, a mission table, a bar stool, a mesh cylinder nightmare full of Reilly's BELOVED stuffed animals, also known as "stuffedies." All told there are seven of these, some lined up outside the storage room, awaiting news of an opening. There is also a posturpedic foam mattress, and against the back wall is an unattractive shelf/hutch that was incredibly precious to my dad, who died a few years ago, because it has been in the family since the 1800's. But, I don't really like/want it. Is that reprehensible? More wrapping paper, trophies, papers, books, papers, books, papers, books, ad nauseum: (Oh, and a 4 ft. fan, a globe...)
This is just sick. Another bar stool (I had a wicked Linens-N-Things addiction once upon a time), MORE FUCKING wrapping paper!!! A pink plastic picnic tote-thing, which has been used for everything from Quinn's $400 Lego Jawa Sand Crawler, which he used to carry everywhere, and pieces would break off, and he would cry, and he would still bring it everywhere. We have used it for overnighters, laundry, cleaning supplies when friends have called in shit hole paralysis, possibly bathing, I don't know. It was sold by Target as a soft (and more importantly polka-dotted) cooler. OMG cute. Hope we can dig it out. There's also a Coleman cooler Todd has had for 20+ years. He literally uses everything until it's pulp. I also see a dreaded off-white garbage can I recently canned in favour of a white one, and the box to the new Dust Buster Max (my gift to the kids), and some box the size of a coffin. So here's that corner:
So you get it. It's bad. No, we are not hoarders. Well, I do buy alarming quantities of cleaning solvents, B&B hand soaps, caddies, apparently wrapping paper, and refills for things like Swiffers, lint rollers, and kid wipes. But the culprit here is that our house is 1 ft. squared, smaller possibly than our storage room, so when the imp of my mind orders me to get unused/outgrown crap out of the house, it goes to the landfill. Some of the stuff is straight-up garbage, no doubt. Other things are wonderful but have to be saved until we get a house that is at least 2 ft. squared. Other things have avoided the ax because of sentiment (a dangerous thing for an OCD mind), lots of it garage sale-bound, while the rest is there because, what the fuck, everything else is in there!
Todd and I made a pact to do this today, so naturally, I:
-Woke up at 6-something and LET TODD SLEEP.
-Did all the laundry.
-Swept the laundry room.
-Swept and Swiffed the kitchen.
-Organized my media card.
-Made chore lists for the kids and myself.
-Crept about like some church mouse.
-Took pictures of this 2012 wasteland, hoping for sympathy.
So if this is not your day, I hate you.
(See yesterday's tip for cleaning your house in an hour, or come with Dawna's cattle prod to get me through this nightmare. I have coffee, cookies, chocolate, $$$!)