Saturday, July 24, 2010

Saturday Splendor, Mania a la Carte

Operation: MOVE EVERYONE OUT AND INTO HIS/HER OWN ROOM is complete, and we did a damned fine job, even by Moxie standards. I have to tip my hat to Todd, who tackled the two things I despise: Shampooing the every inch of carpet in the house, and disassembling the fucking bunk beds, which nearly killed me. (See yesterday's post for a more detailed description of the various debacles and triumphs of the move.) I was amped up and then some, Mach 10 at least. 9am-1am of straight ass-kicking labour, interspersed with deep cleaning, when I got pinned into the kitchen by mattresses and trapped elsewhere by assorted furniture, sailing through the house like flotsam waiting to be washed ashore.

In between breaking my neck thinking I could take the beds apart by sitting on the bottom and pushing the top one off with my head, which nearly caved in, taking the hinges off every door, moving three beds, dressers, 2,489 lb. Rubbermaid Lego drawers, and making peace with this sectional, which is one c***sucking inch too long to fit snugly and thus, takes up the entire living room. I pouted about this like a recalcitrant child, refusing to acknowledge it, and scoffing at all reason.

"So what if it comes out a foot farther? What were you going to do in this living room, play Twister?" Debe asked. This made total sense and I got over it. Well, like 75% over it.

So in the midst of this consumerism implosion, I managed to:

-Wash EVERYTHING washable in the entire house, including bleaching all whites, clothes to be consigned, clothes to hand down, ALL bedding, EVERY blanket, coats, stuffed animals, bedding to be stored, purses and backpacks for the garage sale, and BATH MATS. (!!!)

-Bleach sinks.

-Keep all dishes washed.

-Gather and curse four MILLION bobby pins. These can be found in the hinge of the dryer, all of Reilly's pockets, my pockets, on every surface, on the porch, in the sink, but absolutely NEVER fucking in your purse when you desperately need one. Never.

-Same with hair bands.

-Windexed mirrors and windows.

-Emptied garbage and all wastebaskets in addition to the three garbage bags we filled and tossed. This is the most amazing thing ever.

-Dusted everything that was relocating, which was everything.

-Organize main bookshelf.

-Wipe down floor lamps.

-Hang clean hand towels in kitchen and bathroom.

-Sweep and sweep and sweep and sweep...and sweep.

-Tidy up garage sale heap to be carried out.

-Did not throw a string onto the passenger floor of Debe's new car.

-Scrubbed back bathroom, hands and knees, baseboard, toilet, tile, the works.

-Put all my clothes away, and continued to wonder how in the hell I have so many. I'm a shameless clothes whore, what can I say? Better than being a regular whore. I'd rather have a packed closet than HPV, I'm just sayin' Andi.

But moving was the star of the show, and as promised, here are some pictures of our efforts. They're a bit grainy, for which I apologize. They were taken by the overrated iPhone, and several of them at night, and Quinn's quilt is crooked (UGH!), but hopefully you'll leap to your feet and clap until your hands are numb.

BEFORE, where the kids have been inextricably trapped together for 10 years (though we co-slept for nine years):

Todd shampooing under Reilly's bed (joy of joys!):

Bunk bed on its side. This was one of those things where Todd just says "Go, and don't talk," lol. Only it wasn't funny. Plus the kids switched beds and wanted them on the impossible walls. And Papa delivered. :)

Quinn on a break with a random mattress hanging around:

Reilly's "stuffed-ie" condo, hanging on the bathroom door, which was off its hinges. It was like Alice in Wonderland:

Gutted like a fish:

A rough shot of REILLY'S ROOM, at long last:

Quinn's oasis, where he can read and grow endlessly:

Not a great shot, but I sorted his precious books, and he was so pleased:

And there you (mostly) have it. There were some injuries, such as cutting my foot, Quinn's ever-growing wingspan flying and his nail slicing my ear, which bled, but I soldiered on. I also mentioned breaking my skull trying to separate the bunk beds with my head. Debe pulled a muscle in her shoulder moving the hide-a-bed part of the sectional, and I may have tossed Bella off the new couch in such a way as to make her body contort into something of a Slinky for just a second. I always forget how small and bendy she is. So moving is not without its hazards, but it is all worth it, and I highly recommended. It presents opportunities to clean you never expected. And you should be delighted by this.

Having gone to bed at 4:00am, I told myself, "Self, you are sleeping until at least 8:00am or I will kick your ass." What can I say, I'm a rebel. 6:42am. I'm already eating lunch, and have to get ready to go to work and hopefully get back in time to take the kids to the pool. They so deserve it.

Then to the hacienda to deal with bobby pins, vacuum my car, and bleach the bath tub.

If this doesn't inspire you to do something, then I cut my ear for nothing!


  1. Totally inspiring and honestly, I am going to go rearrange the office/den/game/bowflex I am trying to sell room right now. I'm so glad I read this becaue I was wanting to not sit on my ass and now I feel I have the motivation to get up and get somethind done.

    Nice work and awesome rooms! I bet the kids love it!

    And sorry your sectional is one inch too long. That would bother me too but I'm glad Debe put it in perspective. Way to go Debe except I probably won't come to your Christmas party now since I know we won't be playing Twister.

  2. How dare you inspire me at fucking 10 o'clock at night woman!!!! Damn, you go girl! You're like, a freaking clean machine - I need to buy one of you fo' shiz.
    At the moment, I'm trying to pry the vampire baby off my boobs long enough to DEEP CLEAN ANYTHING - he only releases me to do the basics. I mean, no he doesnt feed all day like he used to - but he's teething like a mo'fo and needs his Mama. Cos only MY cuddles have magic.

    I'm fucking awesome.

  3. So, yesterday I tackled storage. I've been wanting to do that as I can never find anything when I go out there. What used to be 6 bins is now 4 bins. We threw away several paper bags worth of trash and have a large black trash bag to donate. I find myself wondering: Why did we keep all that junk? It's been moved at least 3 times.

    Today I (Well, WE):

    - Bleached all the sinks

    - Bleached the Guest tub (the bottom was really gross)

    - Cleaned both toilets

    - Cleaned the Master Bedroom

    - Gathered all the laundry (and there was plenty)

    - Ran a load of diapers (complete with a strip)

    - Took out the trash

    - Light grocery shopping to get through until Wed.

    - Did a couple of scrapbook pages

    - Cleaned Frankie's highchair

    - Did 1 load of laundry (it still needs to hit the dryer)

    - Cleaned the kitchen (including the floors)

    What's left? Of course there are things left to do!

    - LAUNDRY (fold and put away...this includes diapers)

    - Clean the entryway

    - Figure out what I'm going to put in these two empty bins.

    We're going out of town Thursday morning so I wanted to get everything done NOW. I know we won't feel like doing anything after a 4 hour drive on Sunday to come home.

  4. Dana--What became of the office I inspired? I will need to see proof in the form of alcohol. Speaking of inspiration though, didn't you just lay a patio and build chickens coops 'n shit? You're a true Moxling. When's veggie night?

    Mes--If you can call me at 5am, I can motivate you any goddamned time I please! I cannot remember how my OCD coped with disorder, but I'm glad you're going crazy. We were meant to be. Oh, and you can has me for free lady. xoxo

    Kasondra--Storage for the WIN! Storage sucks! That's the kind of chore I will avoid at all costs. I really care most about dirt, clutter, and surfaces. Did you love your bleached sinks? Good call cleaning Frankie's high chair. I once knew this woman, plenty smart, a lawyer even, whose daughter's high chair was so foul. I don't think she ever washed it since dragging it out of some free pile. I was so sad for that baby. There were stalagmites all over it, crumbs in the seat, it was just impossible not to notice and wince. So what a good mama you are.

    How did you clean the kitchen floor? I think you're a little far along to be on hands and knees yes? Swiffer Wet Jet?

    Way to think ahead, and I need to know what you put in the bins!

    I've been in a perpetual state of hunting/gathering in a post-transition, pre-garage sale marathon of leaving NO stone unturned. Oh how I dream of a life of white and chrome. Instead, I've been a veritable slotted spoon sifting through board games, scarves, clothes, hair bands, Legos, and would-be trash that is granted housing on the grounds of sentimentality. Organizing is not my gift. Like, at all. There continue to be little heaplings that greet me on random surfaces, much like there is always a little dirt left over every time you pull the dust pan back. But I'm getting there.

  5. I will snap a photo of the new office now more like a guest room. You know the giant TV stand that NEVER was my style that Jason bought forever ago? Well, I kicked it to the office (weaning him) and now, it is neatly in the garage awaiting a garage sale. Bow flex also there. I had to do a lot of work like steel son's short bookcase so it could fit in the closet and then pull out the dresser in the closet to use as tv stand bla bla bla, but it looks great. Also picked up a free futon from sis in law for actual tv viewing and guests to sleep on and of course, I washed the cover!

    I have been so productive; with family coming into town tomorrow and the threat of going insane because I saw a flea in my house I have shampooed, reorganized, decluttered... you'd be so proud. Drinks and vegetables and proof of a beautiful now sort of guest room, yes soon after family goes.

    Love ya!

  6. Uhm, I made DH clean the floor! Duh! lol Mostly just a sweep. We wipe up wet and sticky messes as they happen so the big thing is crumbs and dirt.

    The bins now have: 1 for Memories (scripts from high school and college, photos, etc...) 2 for baby stuff (clothes, small blankets, a bounce chair...) and 1 for books. Most of the rest of the stuff was absolute useless crap and it got thrown away or donated. It's amazing how many random papers we held on to for God knows what reason.

    Oh, and I hate fleas. They're in the same boats as ants as far as I'm concerned. I fully believe that they're working for Satan himself.