Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday Triage Try for Triumph
1 cup black eye half swollen shut.
1 cup 102 degree fever.
10 gallons fresh squeezed fatigue.
1 9-hour nap.
1 pckg. salted trip to the ER at 2am, stir immediately and continuously.
1 pinch of accidental needle the size of PVC pipe for labs and an IV.
1 one pound bag of X-ray.
1 tbsp. unexpected diagnosis.
5 litres not enough sleep.
Bake for 2.5 hours (the sleep). Finished product should yield one seriously hot mess, sore to the touch, eyes slightly singed, and involuntarily averted from cleaning.
Letting this stiff and worthless entree to settle will only serve to ensure that nothing ever gets done in the house again. Thus, immediate and drastic measures must be taken and followed closely to avoid domestic apocalypse.
The key is to KEEP STIRRING or it will harden.
Next, get out the following ingredients-
This will produce a liquid that allows the concoction to rise:
These are set to ensure movement:
Pour concoction from bowl and observe. Add 3 gallons music. (Not optional.)
If you've followed the recipe exactly, the result should look like this:
If that works, blend the mess with this:
It should look like this:
Continue to fold the following ingredients in to taste:
(This is extra spicy, mix with caution.)
If your product holds up, continue with this, for presentation:
Much better, no?
If your recipe withstood all these steps, then you clearly used a dash of Moxie Clean.
(Disclaimer* This entire post is utterly gay. [Vicodin])