Sunday, July 12, 2009

Save Us From Sunday

I am proud to report that even after arriving home at dawn, with a little help from Starbucks, I showed no mercy on my house yesterday. Most joyously, I moved all the furniture, scrubbed all the baseboard rims, the area where the carpet meets the wall and celebrates by gathering dust silently, behind the very couch on which you sit. All of it, gone, wood shining, carpet fluffy and clean. That was my coup de gras.

Reilly and I also went on an errand run of highly unsatisfying returns, including my Swiffer that stopped Swiffing.

Saturday was a total underdog, but just like a suspenseful movie, it emerged victorious.

This morning, I have dishes to scold because the dishwasher ran during the night, but before I can get to that, I:

-Basically just sat and relished my clean and wiped-down house and read with my protein shake, wondering what I'd be capable of if I had another coffee...

I'm pretty caught up right now, which I realize evokes great hatred, and rightfully so. But remember I can't cook, and have to watch y'all post your lemon herb chicken and pasta, etc. :)

I plan to spend some time in my kids' room today, crying, rocking, praying. And throwing away as much as I can.


-Surfaces and floors. A subtle metaphor for highs and lows, if you will. This is not to be interpreted as cleaning your house from top to bottom, just clearing/wiping surfaces, and cleaning those floors. Here are some simple tips for tricking yourself into thinking the house is cleaner, with minimal effort:

Counter tops: Papers scattered? Put them in a neat stack. Don't even have the energy to tell the kids to pick up their DS games, hairbands, whatever? Put it all in a bowl and hand it to them later. Bowls also come in handy with random shit commandeering your counter or table. Stick it all in a bowl and wipe down the rest.

Floors: Don't feel like bending down (who does?)? Kick coats and toys into a corner, shove it in a laundry basket. This opens up your floors to be vacuumed, and you can sift through the junk at your leisure. What is leisure?

Then, later you can sit (what is sitting?) with your bowl(s) and basket(s) with your coffee and go through it in a less stressful manner. Sometimes I sit on the floor and scrape microscopic adhesive off the bathroom tile for two hours, with the toothpicks going SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! every five seconds. Other times I sit in my underwear on the couch with our ridiculous, criminal, over-stuffed tote of medicines, and toss, sort, categorize and beautify everything while watching a movie with my kids. Glorious rolls of gauze, tucked uniformly, ahhhhh.

So there are tricks. Lots of tricks. As I was telling a friend last night, sometimes it zaps your last 1% of energy to wash three dishes, and other times you feel you will have to murder someone if you don't pull out your stove and scour its underbelly with your own toothbrush RIGHT NOW! The point is, cleaning is possible to varying degrees, with vastly differing energy levels and schedules.

Maintenance and making the most of every movement/trip through the house. Remembering that washing the dishes means wiping down the kitchen and floors. Knowing that going the extra mile usually takes two minutes. And finally, MUSIC.

Okay, surfaces and floors, any way you can. :)


  1. Again I get to cop out since weekends are my workdays. However! I will have to manage at least doing those damn dishes I spotted on my break earlier, else I will drive myself into total madness if they stare and mock me any longer.
    I'm all for coffee though, as I've already had 2 cups today (I limit myself to 1-3 a day) and having to sit here an maintain energy for clients is almost impossible if not for the coffee hit.
    I did however do one thing on my break, I mopped the dining room floor quickly since I couldn't stand the puppy smell. There were no messes, just her stench! Blast my love of smells nice in there now though :D

  2. I think you mean to say "coup de grâce" and not "coup de gras." That is, unless your intended meaning was that cleaning behind your couch yesterday was your blow of fat. In either case, keep up the good work!

    love, your friendly neighborhood lurkling

  3. If I dream of all of this while napping all day, that TOTALLY counts, right!?!?
    SO TIRED! :)

  4. Mesina-You are one of my most trusted Moxlings, whose promises to catch up on Monday I know are not just tired empty pleas, lol. I can't wait to see what you do tomorrow!

    Anonymous-How fine of you to notice this. My reasons are these: I was watching a movie with a friend the other night, and it had subtitles and they kept using your spelling, which I mentioned was far less pleasing, aesthetically, than the lesser-used, though perfectly valid, "gras." So I hoped she'd pick up on this. Second, I lack the computer savvy to access foreign symbols like oomlats and such, and would rather use the less refined spelling than the classic one with no symbol. Finally, I've never heard of "blow of fat." Are you British? OMG Mesina is this you? The definition is essentially 'death blow,' and I do often refer to cleaning in the context of an assault, like, "Kick my house's ass," "Scrub until it cries," "Show it who's boss," etc. As such, I stand by my usage. But thanks for keeping me on my toes!

    Now, the real question, since you are one Moxling who has definitely earned his/her spelling badge, is, who are you?

    Thanks again,

  5. Anonymous was not me!! omg I get blamed for everything.....LOL!! But seriously wasn't me :)

  6. Ok.. toilets are clean. Enlisted hubby to get the 'really' dirty diapers washed. Bless him.
    Basked in the glory of the clean fridge longer than was called for.

    And here to confess the shame of it all.. my dirty windows..

    Gads..I can barely see through some of the salt spray, 'what is that??,' scum that has built up on many glass panes.

    I'm going to just admit it... we're renting, and it's not for much longer. I don't think I have it in me to scale the side of the house just for a fleeting view. Neither is the owner is not 'the owner' for much longer. Sad but true.

    So there it is, the weight has been lifted. Not really, I still want to get out there and clean them.

    Amy (DP)

  7. Karinda-It totally counts, inasmuch as in some dimension or other all of this was getting done. And if dreaming of housekeeping becomes all you can do in this last stage, just set up a Moxie house call. :)

  8. Karinda-at nine months pregnant if you can even *think* about cleaning it counts.

    I picked, pitted, and froze 37 lbs of cherries. I also cleaned the family room with Tavy, made a real dinner, and am off to tackle the kitchen. I also rolled and put away the towels nicely instead of leaving them in a laundry bucket :)

    Treading water cleaning wise.

  9. Comments came in in a weird non-order today--must have been the storm.

    Amy-Loads of praise for toilets and for delegating to hubby. As for coastal windows, all I can say is that as a teenager I didn't realize I had OCD and would scrub those bastards (our house overlooked the ocean) until I cried and wanted to break them. "Broken glass is better than DIRTY glass!" Alas we rented as well. Thank you for that vivid picture. I do not miss the coast.

    Karinda-Yeah, pretty much if you post anything, you earn a star. It's all about me after all, lol.

    Bethany-Way to encourage a fellow Moxling, extra credit! I cannot even fathom 37 lbs. of cherries, honestly. Like, do I say, "Way to go," or throw a party in your honour? When I read that, I took a nap, seriously. Plus real dinner and folded towels? I'm bringing you a treat, for reals. Name it. Coffee, chocolate, paper clips whatever. You earned it!

    And FYI: You all did better than I did today.

  10. Technically, it's tomorrow.
    Realised that I didn't fill in schedule to start off the week, and was dreaming WAY TOO much about how to best organize packing boxes.
    Decided energy would be better put to use..UP and doing something.

    I am going to tackle the dust, and try to convince myself that playing a little Donavon Frankenreiter in the background won't wake ANYONE.

    I'll be back later for sure.
    Amy in DB