Save Us From Sunday

I am proud to report that even after arriving home at dawn, with a little help from Starbucks, I showed no mercy on my house yesterday. Most joyously, I moved all the furniture, scrubbed all the baseboard rims, the area where the carpet meets the wall and celebrates by gathering dust silently, behind the very couch on which you sit. All of it, gone, wood shining, carpet fluffy and clean. That was my coup de gras.

Reilly and I also went on an errand run of highly unsatisfying returns, including my Swiffer that stopped Swiffing.

Saturday was a total underdog, but just like a suspenseful movie, it emerged victorious.

This morning, I have dishes to scold because the dishwasher ran during the night, but before I can get to that, I:

-Basically just sat and relished my clean and wiped-down house and read with my protein shake, wondering what I'd be capable of if I had another coffee...

I'm pretty caught up right now, which I realize evokes great hatred, and rightfully so. But remember I can't cook, and have to watch y'all post your lemon herb chicken and pasta, etc. :)

I plan to spend some time in my kids' room today, crying, rocking, praying. And throwing away as much as I can.

HOW'S THIS FOR YOU GUYS?

-Surfaces and floors. A subtle metaphor for highs and lows, if you will. This is not to be interpreted as cleaning your house from top to bottom, just clearing/wiping surfaces, and cleaning those floors. Here are some simple tips for tricking yourself into thinking the house is cleaner, with minimal effort:

Counter tops: Papers scattered? Put them in a neat stack. Don't even have the energy to tell the kids to pick up their DS games, hairbands, whatever? Put it all in a bowl and hand it to them later. Bowls also come in handy with random shit commandeering your counter or table. Stick it all in a bowl and wipe down the rest.

Floors: Don't feel like bending down (who does?)? Kick coats and toys into a corner, shove it in a laundry basket. This opens up your floors to be vacuumed, and you can sift through the junk at your leisure. What is leisure?

Then, later you can sit (what is sitting?) with your bowl(s) and basket(s) with your coffee and go through it in a less stressful manner. Sometimes I sit on the floor and scrape microscopic adhesive off the bathroom tile for two hours, with the toothpicks going SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! every five seconds. Other times I sit in my underwear on the couch with our ridiculous, criminal, over-stuffed tote of medicines, and toss, sort, categorize and beautify everything while watching a movie with my kids. Glorious rolls of gauze, tucked uniformly, ahhhhh.

So there are tricks. Lots of tricks. As I was telling a friend last night, sometimes it zaps your last 1% of energy to wash three dishes, and other times you feel you will have to murder someone if you don't pull out your stove and scour its underbelly with your own toothbrush RIGHT NOW! The point is, cleaning is possible to varying degrees, with vastly differing energy levels and schedules.

Maintenance and making the most of every movement/trip through the house. Remembering that washing the dishes means wiping down the kitchen and floors. Knowing that going the extra mile usually takes two minutes. And finally, MUSIC.

Okay, surfaces and floors, any way you can. :)