Aw crap, so I'm typing goofy-handed (like goofy-footed), on someone else's keyboard, on which only one SHIFT key works, and the rest of the keys only require 15 lbs. of pressure to operate...so...this has to be bare bones.
Here's what I'm thinking based on the buzz:
-You all love fall so much, imagine its splendor if your windows were clean. That is to say, clean your windows!
-Insert absolute WORST out-of-town laundry experience in the universe here, and then fall on the ground thanking god it did not happen to you, then multiply it by five million, cry for me, to whom it did happen, and go do all your easy goddamned laundry.
-Dishes, counters, appliances, floors. Never changes, that's all it takes.
-Check all garbages.
-Wipe all doorknobs. Twice.
-Make sure there is hand sanitizer in every bathroom, in the kitchen, kids' rooms, garage, your mouth (oh sorry, that's me)...you get it.
-Spruce up your living room.
-Clean off and wipe your dining room table. Light a candle if you're so inclined.
-Vacuum.
-Pick up toys via bribes, threats, etc.
-Implement a mass exodus of errant dishes, clothes, blankets, books to their rightful homes.
Report back with your preferred soundtrack!
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I checked, and sure enough, I was right. External use only. Duh.
ReplyDeletewww.safespaceco.com/images/instant_hand_sanitizer_Label.jpg
;)
Not James Dean
OMG!!! You mean to tell me that I'm not supposed to use hand sanitizer as mouthwash?! shit, fuck, hell!. . . Now what?!
ReplyDeleteToday was moderately productive. . . no lawn mowing though. Lawnmower is a P.O.S. but we won't get into that.
What I did get done is vacuuming upstairs, cleaning off coffee table and end tables upstairs, moved some things around on the entertainment center in preparation for the new t.v., vacuumed furniture upstairs and, of course, dishes!
As of right now I'm going to finish a couple of school related things and then I'm going to go to bed because I'm afraid I'm getting sick. Right after I research what the hell I'm going to use as my new mouthwash. . .
Anonymous-I stand behind my statement about eating hand sanitizer. But to each his/her own, thanaks for the interest!
ReplyDeleteDawna-I so adored your cussing rant, it made my day. Once again you outdid yourself and me, though I am armed with excuses. Hey my friends want to meet you, so get your shiny, leaf-free van over here for those long-awaited drinks!
Being away from home I did little more than pray for own house, and obsess over the exponential growth of everything in my suitcase, despite removing things for laundry everyday. Also, I am dismayed to have seemingly only brought black sweaters and nothing else. But oh well.